Standing On Your Own
by PlagueOfPrague
Summary: Spike's brought back from the dead to deal with Buffy, who is deeply depressed over the death of her friends. The council steps in, bringing someone else she loves back for their own purposes. B/S *new saddening chap added*
1.

Title: Standin On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

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**_"Buffy...." Dawn's sobs were lost amongst the chaos around her. Her breath became shallow as another wave of magick ran through the room. Looking up with glazed eyes, she saw her sister huddled against the wall, staring absently at the bodies of Willow and Xander._**

****

**_"Dawn!!" The teen could barely make out the form of the frantic blonde vampire as her vision began to fade. She heard him shout her name again before all her senses failed and her body slumped down, held up only by the chains holding her to the wall. "Nibblet!!" Another tremor shook the room, sending him sprawling to the floor. Opening his eyes, the vampire came face to face with the demon responsible for the chaos around them. The green creature grinned, revealing long rows of fangs. Spike snarled, swinging his leg under the demon and sending him to the ground. The monster tried to get up, but was caught under a falling beam. Spike was ready to rip the demon to shreds, but another violent jolt caused him to nearly lose his footing._**

****

**_Shit. There was no time. _**

****

**_His eyes fell to the shaking slayer. She was the only one left, they were all gone: Red, the Whelp, Pixie, the Watcher, the ex-demon, and even his Lil Bit. Gone. Fighting back tears, he quickly pulled his coat off and crouched next to the girl. He wrapped the leather jacket around her small form and scooped her from the ground, giving the trapped demon one last venomous glance before taking off towards the door with the slayer in tow. He wasn't going to loose her, they had to get out of here...._**

Buffy shot up from her restless slumber on the couch, beads of sweat streaming from her forehead as her eyes darted around. Oh God. Burrying her head in her shaking hands, she fought back tears. It had been so long since she had gotten more than a few hours of sleep. Dreams of that night plagued her. Why hadn't she been able to save them? It was all her fault they were dead, her fault she was alone.......

Sniffling, she stood, walking slowly over to the door. She ran her fingers over the leather coat hanging next to it. 

His coat.

The only part of him she had left. Clenching her eyes shut, she pulled it from the hook and swung it over her shoulders, savoring the comfort she felt as the leather enveloped her small form. She walked quickly out into the night, fresh tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

**_"Willow!! Down!!" Buffy words rang through the air, but the red head was too late, taking a heavy hit from the demon's claws. She slumped to the ground, clutching the gash in her head. Her panicked eyes looked up at the Slayer, begging for help._**

****

**_But it was too late._**

****

**_The demon said a few words and sent a violent wave of energy through the girl. She was gone, a lifeless form surrounded by a thick red liquid._**

The slayer stumbled backwards, barely acknowledging the blow to her face. She could feel the blood trickling from her nose as she looked up at the vampire who had attacked her. He swung again, his fist connecting with her jaw. She didn't even wince, only watching as the creature continued to pummel her. 

Backing the girl against a nearby building, the vampire grinned, ready to take out the unprotesting slayer. He leaned down, preparing to burry his fangs in her neck. but quickly vanished into a cloud of dust. Buffy's eyes remained vacant and she let the stake in her hand clatter to the ground. She paid no heed to the trail of blood running from her nose down to the corner of her mouth as she began her lonely walk of the streets once more.

**_Buffy watched in horror as Xander rose from the ground, clutching at the invisble force picking him up by the neck. Struggling for breath, he squirmed, but his body went limp as a large pop sounded through the room. The boy's body dropped to the ground, his neck twisted at an unnatural angle. "Oh God....." The slayer's lower lip trembled as she watched her friend fall to the ground, landing on top of Willow's lifeless body._**

Buffy halted, looking around. Here again. His crypt. Why did her feet always bring her here? It's not like there was anything here for her, nothing of any importance.

He wasn't here to comfort her anymore, but still she came none the less. Habit, she supposed.

Pushing the door open, she walked in, surveying the damage. The placed had been in shambles since he died. As soon as the demon world found out he was gone the place was trashed and stripped of anything valuable the vampire may have owned. She shuffled over to the couch and fell onto the cushions. Laying with her head on the arm, she stared blankly at the broken television in the corner. How many nights had she spent in this same position, curled up on his matty old couch, staring into oblivion. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to savor the bit of comfort she felt here, the twinge of safety in her now bleak world. 

Wrapping his jacket tightly around her, she tried to focus on anything, anything but the memories that haunted her, tormented her. Usually she could concentrate on the sound the crickets made outside, but for some reason they remained quiet tonight. Listening for anything else, she picked up on a soft thump from the lower level.

Thump? What the hell....

Her eyes opened as whoever was downstairs began to rummage through the remains of Spike's things. Great, more petty thieves. She clenched her eyes shut, not in the mood to deal with it. Whoever -or whatever- could deal with her if they wanted, she didn't care anymore. She was tired of fighting, it hurt too much. 

It was a demon, she could feel it as it grew nearer, climbing to the upper level. More likely to kill her then. She swallowed her tears, ready for whatever it was to end it. End her pain, her suffering, her lonliness......

"Slayer?"

Spike? No, it couldn't be, he was dead. Gone. Just like the rest of them.

"Buffy?" The shakey voice came again, only closer.

"No." She clutched her hands over her ears, blocking out the voice. "Not real...." Silent sobs wracked her body as she rocked back and forth. She wanted to die, she wanted it to be over. No more pain. No more.

Just kill me.

"Buffy?" The soft voice was right in front of her now, sending chills down her spine. She felt someone grasp her arms, trying to pry her hands from her ears.

"No!! No...." She pulled away and flailed her fists, keeping her eyes clenched shut. It was too much, now she was even hearing them when she was awake. She couldn't take it.

"Buffy!" The voice was harsh, demanding. The person clutched her arms, pinning them down on the couch. She struggled to break free but it was no use, she was too weak. Another sob went through her and she slowly opened her eyes, looking into the face of the monster. 

Teary blue orbs locked with hers, reflecting unimaginable pain. His platinum blonde hair sat messily on his head. "Buffy...." He ran a cool hand down the side of her face, on the verge of tears himself.

It was him.

The girl leapt from the couch, enveloping him in the tightest hug anyone would think possible. The force sent them both falling to the ground, but neither seemed to notice. The sobbing slayer held tightly onto the vampire as if he were her only ties to this earth. The startled vampire didn't know what to do, but he was pulled from his shock when she pressed her lips to his, still crying. He broke the kiss and sat up, pulling the small girl protectively into his lap. She sobbed into his chest as he cradled her against his body, tears now streaming from his features.

"Shhh, don't cry, pet. Please, don't cry......"

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	2. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

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**_"Buffy. Buffy, look at me!!" Spike tightened his hold on the girl as he ran and jumped to the side, narrowly avoiding a falling beam. He wasn't going to let her slip into darkness like she had when Glory had kidnapped Dawn. "Slayer, now!!" She reluctantly looked up, her green eyes flooded with tears._**

****

**_Bloody fucking hell, why'd she have to look so devastated?_**

****

**_Because all her friends just died you stupid git._**

****

**_"Buffy, listen to me." He cringed as the ground began to shake once more. He bounded up the stairs, desperate to get to the upper level of the house. "It's not your fault, you got that?" Buffy shook her head violently as he struggled to make it through the crumbling structure._**

****

**_It was her fault. All of it. She should have saved them. She was the Slayer, she was supposed to protect them._**

****

**_"No!! Buffy, no." The sound of shattering glass drew his attention to the window. _**

****

**_Fuck, sunlight. _**

****

**_He kept going, stopping right inside the front door. He crouched down, grasping the girls face in his hands and forcing her to look him in the eyes. "It's not your fault, got it? They loved you, I love you......" He kissed her on the forehead and pulled her back into his arms, wishing he could make it better. The pair stood as the final and most powerful tremor shook the house, causing them both to go flying through the air._**

****

**_They never hit the ground._**

****

**_A final wave a magick scorched through the house, blasting them out the door. Buffy landed alone, followed by a faint cloud of dust._**

****

**_His words echoed through her mind......I love you._**

****

The slayer woke with a start, breathing heavily. Her eyes searched around frantically. Where was he? She sighed in relief when she saw the vampire sleeping on the floor in the center of her living room. Swinging her legs over the couch, she stood, walking over to his prone form.

God she had missed him......

She layed down next to him, her face mear inches from his. She layed there for what seemed like hours, just watching him sleep. Unconciously trailing her finger down his face, she moved closer, resting her forehead against his. She smiled slightly as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer. Opening his eyes, he gave her a wry smile.

"Hey pet…"

"Hey…"

He ran his hand through her hair, taking in her features. Her eyes were no longer full of life, they seemed almost dead, hollow holes that tore your heart apart to look into. Dark rings added to the gloominess of her once lively eyes, making them look sunken in. She was thin, pale, weak. She seemed so dead……. 

"Where were you?" She asked quietly, remembering what it was like to come back from Heaven. Or was he in Hell? He hadn't acted like Angel had when he had come back, so he had to have been in Heaven…..but he was a vampire.

He sighed, closing his eyes. "Same place you were, I suppose." He opened his eyes to find her on the verge of tears once more. This was like Hell to him then, wasn't it? He had earned redemtion, gone to Heaven, and now he was stuck back here with her. He smiled, running his hand down her face. "Don't worry luv, m'a vampire, remember? Don't care to much for warm fuzzy feelings. I'd much rather be here with you…." She gave him her best attempt at a smile and yawned. "You still tired?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow. Seeing as the sun was out they had to have been asleep for hours….

"Didn't sleep good, nightmares….."

"S'that where those came from?" He asked gently, brushing his thumb across one of the dark rings under her eyes. She nodded sleepily. "I know what it feels like, luv, same thing happened to me when you were gone. Three months on about an hour of sleep a day, not a walk in the park."

"It's been four months…." She mumbled absently, drifting back to sleep in his arms. It had been so long since she hadn't felt alone, she wanted to stay here forever.

"Come on, I'm sure your bed's a lot more comfortable than the floor." He stood, pulling her gently to her feet and ushering her up the stairs. She walked into her room, her eyes glancing briefly at Dawn's closed door. She hadn't been in her sister or Willow's room since that day. Lying down on top of the blankets, she closed her eyes.

"Spike?" She asked softly.

"Yeah luv?" He asked, sitting back against the headboard.

"I missed you…." She layed her head in his lap, making herself comfortable.

"Missed you too, Slayer." He ran his fingers over her hair, watching her sleep. For the first time since he had returned he acknowledged what she was wearing.

His coat.


	3. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

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Poor Slayer.

  
  


Spike ran his fingers through the sleeping girl's hair, watching her sleep. Looking to the clock, he determined that she had been asleep for over seven hours now, probably the most sleep she'd gotten since they, well, since she'd been alone.

  
  


That brought up another question: Why was he here? One minute he was in what he could only guess was Heaven and the next he was landing on the cold floor of his crypt, really shaken and really naked. ((sorry folks, couldn't resist)) After a few moments, he decided clothes could be the best option and slipped into the first thing he found. As he had climbed to the upper level of his crypt, he heard her.

  
  


His slayer, crying.

  
  


The poor girl, she looked like a lost child lying there. It broke his heart. 

  
  


The musing vampire was pulled back to reality when the slayer began to stir, her eyes fluttering open. She yawned, looking up at him. 

  
  


He was really there, she wasn't alone anymore. Sitting up, she rested her head on his shoulder. Had it been any other time, Spike would have used the opprotunity to get her in bed, but not now. Instead he gave her his trademark smirk.

  
  


"Nice look, Slayer. Leather suits you."

  
  


She looked down at what she was wearing. "Oh, sorry. Here, you can have it back....." She went to pull it off but he stopped her.

  
  


"You keep it pet, looks better on you anyway." She gave him a small smile before she stood up, walking over to her dresser. Pulling some sweat pants and a white tank top out, she turned back to the vampire. "I'm going to take a shower...."

  
  


"Knock yourself out pet, I have something I need to do...." He stood, following her out the door.

  
  


"What?" She asked, fearing that he was going to leave.

  
  


"Been dead for four months, got some TV to catch up on." She shook her head at him and walked into the bathroom. Spike smiled as he turned to walk downstairs. He halted, staring at Dawn's door. His Nibblet. He had promised to protect her and now she was gone. He swallowed back the lump in his throat before turning the door knob. He watched the door swing open.

  
  


Nothing had changed.

  
  


It was the same as the last time he saw it. Her school books were still thrown about the floor, her homework untouched. The bed wasn't made and a basket of clothes sat in the corner, never having been put away. He walked in and sat on the corner of her bed, looking around.

  
  


He couldn't believe she was gone. Picking up one of the fuzzy teddybears, he looked into it's happy face. Happy for eternity. He sighed, setting the stuffed animal back down. He stood to leave, but something on her dresser caught his eye.

  
  


A journal.

  
  


The Nibblet's journal. He contemplated looking in it, to see what she had thought over her last few days on earth, but the sound of the shower shutting off drew him from the idea. He walked out of the girl's room, shutting the door quietly behind him. Red's door was shut as well, he noticed. Shaking his head, he headed downstairs.

  
  


*****

  
  


"Buffy, Sweets, you hungry?" Spike opened the fridge, finding nothing but half a carton of orange juice and a partial loaf of bread. His face scrunched up and he headed to the cupboards in hope of finding something a little bit more versatile for the thin girl to eat. A bottle of vegetable oil, some old bagels, and a box of mac and cheese. Buffy walked into the kitchen, looking glum. "Where's all your food, pet?"

  
  


She shrugged, sitting down at the island in the center of the room.

  
  


"When was the last time you ate?" He asked, noting the lack of dirty dishes and trash.

  
  


"Yesterday...." He raised his eyebrows at her. "I had some toast...."

  
  


"Breakfast of champions, ey? Come on, we're going to get something to eat." He grabbed his coat from the back of a chair and threw it to her.

  
  
  
  


"But I'm not...." She began to protest.

  
  


"Don't start. We're going." He warned, pointing a finger at her. She groaned as she stood and shrugged into the jacket.

  
  


"I don't have any money...." She mumbled, looking at him sullenly. 

  
  


"Don't worry 'bout it. Come on, we'll stop back by my place." He led her out the door and into the dark streets of Sunnydale.

  
  


"There's nothing there. It's all been swiped." She muttered, wrapping her arms around herself.

  
  


"Can't all be gone, I'm good at hiding stuff, remember?" He smirked, throwing his arm across her shoulders and pulling her towards him. She smiled, enjoying his company.

  
  


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Short chapter, yes. I'll get into more of a story soon, promise. Please review!!

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	4. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

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"You alright in there?" Spike leaned against the bathroom door, cringing as the slayer gagged. Maybe a Grand Slam from Denny's wasn't the best idea. "Buffy?" He pushed the door open when he heard the toilet flush and poked his head around the corner. The slayer was leaning against the wall with her legs pulled up and her thin arms wrapped around them. She glared at the vampire. He smirked, "Feeling better?"

  
  


"I hate you." The slayer had one thought on her mind: He made her eat, it's his fault she's sick.

  
  


"And you're not the only one." He said knowingly, sitting down next to the glowering girl. "So, you going to hang out in here all night or get some sleep?"

  
  


"I wouldn't be in here at all if you hadn't....." Her face paled and she pulled back over the toilet, coughing. Chuckling, he stood. He pulled her hair from her face and rubbed his hand in small circles over her back, muttering small condolences. She sniffled, flushing the toilet once more.

  
  


"Better?" He raised his eyebrows at the girl, still smirking. She glared. "Come on, pet. You'll feel better in the morning." His tone softened as he led her into the hallway. Wrapping her arms around her stomach, she shuffled into her room and curled up on the mattress.

  
  


"This is your fault...." She muttered.

  
  


"Suit yourself, you want to wither away, be my guest." He leaned down, placing a small kiss on her forehead before walking towards the door. She grabbed his arm.

  
  


"Where are you going?"

  
  


"You're mad at me, remember? I'm going to claim the couch as my bed for the night," He glanced at her clock, "or what's left of the night." He smirked as she pulled him down onto the bed.

  
  


"I am mad."

  
  


"And that's why you won't let me leave, right?" Her eyes fell. "You lost this argument, Slayer, but don't worry, I'll stay."

  
  


*****

  
  


"Where the bloody hell did all your weapons go?" Spike's face scrunched up as he sorted through the closet. When he didn't find anything, he turned to Buffy, who was sitting on her bed watching him. "Well?"

  
  


"Basement...." She muttered, dropping her eyes to the floor.

  
  


"No offense, luv, but they don't do much good down there. What've you been using for slaying?" She nodded to her dresser.

  
  


"Bottom drawer." He looked at her skeptically before pulling the drawer open. Three stakes and half a bottle of holy water. They both remained silent.

  
  


"You stopped slaying?" He asked quietly, his eyes rolling to her. She cringed. He looked upset and...angry?

  
  


"Not completely...." she mumbled.

  
  


"Either you slay or you don't, pet, there's no gray area in the matter."

  
  


"I do when I have to..."

  
  


"And when exactly would that be?"

  
  


She shrugged, playing with the ring on her index finger. "Whenever I run into a vamp, usually when I go to your place. Other than that I usually hang around here...." He swallowed, taking a seat next to her.

  
  


"You can't do that, pet. It's your job, your calling. You can't just do it whenever it's convenient for you."

  
  


"Why do you care, anyway? You're a vampire, you should be fucking happy I stopped!!" She stood, glowering at the vampire.

  
  


"Buffy..." He stood, taking a step towards her.

  
  


"No!! I don't want to be a slayer, I don't want to be anything......" She backed away from him, tears pouring from her eyes. 

  
  


"Buffy!!" He took off after the girl as she dashed into the hall, desperate to avoid his convictions. She jumped as he went to grab her, slamming into a door. It swung open as she fell to the ground, glaring at the vampire. He stared past her, pain flashing across his features. Looking at him skeptically, she turned to see what he was gawking at.

  
  


Oh God.

  
  


She scrambled backwards, halting when she ran into the wall behind her. She stared across the hall, her eyes flooding with fresh tears. Dawn's room. Swallowing back the lump in his throat, he knelt beside the girl, pulling her still form into his arms. "Come on, Buffy. Let's get out of here." When she didn't move, he scooped her off the ground and carried her downstairs.

  
  


*****

  
  


"You see anything?" He looked to the girl walking beside him, but she didn't reply. She just kept walking, her head hung low. He sighed, shifting the blade in his grasp from one hand to the other. He had convinced her-no, more like told her- that they were going to go slaying. After about thirty minutes of digging for weapons, they were off, both wanting to get out of the house. Buffy hadn't said a word since she had seen Dawn's room for the first time in four months. 

  
  


"Spike?"

  
  


"Yeah luv?" He was grateful that she had finally broken the silence.

  
  


"Do you think....do you think she knew I loved her?" Her voice cracked and she looked up at him, her eyes hopeful.

  
  


"What do you mean? Course she knew you loved her." He stopped, staring down at her. "God, Slayer, is that what you thought all this time? That they didn't think you loved them?"

  
  


"I never told them...." Her lower lip trembled as she spoke, her voice cracking.

  
  


"They knew, pet, trust me. You don't need to tell some one you love them for them to know." 

  
  


"But... I was so mean. God, I was so fucking cruel. I didn't mean to be, I didn't. God, I'm so sorry." She fell into his arms, sobbing into his chest.

  
  


"Something tells me your not talking about your pals anymore...."

  
  


"I love you, Spike. I do. Maybe not in the way you want me to, but I love you..."

  
  


He smirked, enveloping her in his arms. "I know pet, I know."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


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	5. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

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They stood there for what seemed like hours. Buffy was too tired to move, she just wanted to stand there with him, her head burried in his chest.

  
  


Real life Spike is so much more comforting than his old couch, Buffy noted.

  
  


Just because she was somewhat happy in this little predicament with the vampire, something was sure to come about and ruin it. And alas, the hugging pair turned at the sound of snarls to find a group of three rather large vampires, readying to attack them. Spike sighed, releasing his hold on the slayer.

  
  


"Ready?" 

  
  


She nodded meakly, pulling a stake from her pocket. Spike looked at her nervously. She was no longer the strong, confident girl who had kicked his ass on numerous occasions, she was a scared little girl being forced to fight the monsters hiding under her bed. 

  
  


The vampires lunged at them, fangs ready to burry themselves in the slayer's neck. Word had been that she was weak and wouldn't take much to take out, so they looked foreward to a grand meal. 

  
  


They hadn't counted on Spike being back from the dead.

  
  


The blonde vampire dusted the first foe easily and set to work on the second. The third landed a kick to Buffy's face, sending her staggering backwards. Usually she relished the pain that her enemies sent through her, it made her forget about the seering pain that course through her chest on a daily basis, but with Spike here, she knew she couldn't let the vampire kick the crap out of her before she staked him. She grabbed his foot as he kicked again and twisted it harshly, sending him to the ground. He was back on his feet almost instantly, elbowing her in the jaw before kneeing her in the stomach. She doubled over, but the vampire wrapped his arm around her neck, pulling her up. She struggled to break free as he lowered his fangs to her neck, ready to feed. Just as his fangs reached her flesh, he vanished, his ashes floating to the ground.

  
  


"Bit rusty, Slayer?"Spike asked, smirking. She looked at him, unamused. Since when were pathetic fledgling vampires able to get the best of her? God damn it, she really was pathetic. 

  
  


Pouting, she wrapped her arms around herself and headed up the street. "Buffy?" Spike went after the girl, falling into step beside her. 

  
  


"I suck." She said simply.

  
  


"Personally, I don't mind when you suck...." Spike grinned and she glared at him, trying not to laugh.

  
  


"Pervert, you know what I mean."

  
  


"You don't suck, you just need to get back in the swing of things. What do you say we go head 

over to the Magick Shop and train for a bit?" Her eyes fell. Shit, the ex-demon and the Watcher were dead, weren't they? "Buffy. I didn't mean..."

  
  


"No, we can go." She said flatly, turning down the street and heading towards the shop. Now how the Hell did she plan on doing this? The shop was more than likely closed since the owners died. Deciding to just go with it, he followed, not questioning her. When they reached the shop, she stared at the door a few moments before fishing about one of the pockets on his jacket and pulling out a key ring.

  
  


Since when did she have a key to the place? They always snuck in through the sewers when no one was there. She swallowed, swinging the door open and flicking on the light switch. The place, like everything else of her deceased friends, was untouched. Books from the research they were doing that night still lined the table. She walked in, brushing her fingers over the pages of te dusty text.

  
  


"Giles made out a will along time ago. I guess that's something you do pretty early in life when you're job involves training people to kill monsters. He didn't have any family, so he left almost everything to me, Xander, and Willow. He..." She sniffled, sitting down on the counter. "He told us we were his real family, but since they're.....I got everything. His money, the house he owns in England, his weapons, his books, the shop....everything." She looked up at him, her eyes teary, "I never touched any of it, not even the money. I feel so wrong about it, like maybe I let him die so I could get this all." She looked around the shop, trying to remember what it was like filled with the voices of everyone she loved.

  
  


"Buffy, he left everything to you because he wanted to make sure you'd be okay without him." He took a seat next to her. "Why would he leave everything to you if he knew you weren't going to touch it? He would want you to se it, to move on with your life."

  
  


"Can we just go train?" She said flatly, wiping tears from her eyes as she marched into the back room. 

  
  


*****

  
  


Buffy stretched her arms in front of her. She hadn't been this cramped up in.....geez, she didn't think she had ever been this cramped up. She was definately out of shape. She sighed, laying her head back on the arm of her couch and focusing on the televison. Spike walked out of the kitchen, a bag of popcorn, a can a pepsi, and a glass of blood in tow. They had made a pit stop on the way back from the shop to pick up some desperately needed food for the house. It was almost noon now and the sun was shining brightly outside. He took a seat at the end of the couch, pushing her feet out of they way.

  
  


"Hey!" she protested, trying to kick him out of the way.

  
  


"Bugger off, you don't need to take up the whole sodding couch."

  
  


"Do too, I feel like I'm going to fall apart. Literally." He smirked, handing the pepsi to her. She took a small sip and set the can on the table in front of her.

  
  


"Popcorn?" He offered the bag to her. She made a small face before reluctantly taking a handful and munching on it. "Good girl." He commented, shoving a handful into his mouth. They sat for awhile, watching a wholesome episode of Jerry Springer. 

  
  


"I thought popcorn was for night time movie watching?" 

  
  


"It was either thing or Spaghetti O's and being the little twig you are, you would have wasted the perfectly good little O's. Least I'll eat whatever popcorn you don't."

  
  


"You like popcorn?" She quirked an eyebrow, grinning. He shrugged, munching on more of the puffy kernels. He was about to remark when the doorbell rang. Who on earth could that be? Everyone they knew was dead.... They exchanged looks before Spike stood, walking over to the door.

  
  


"Who the bloody hell are you?" Spike asked, surveying the the woman in the doorway. She was small, probably in her late twenties, and was dressed like she was ready to do office work. She removed the frames from her nose, glancing at the cup of red liquid in the blonde's hand.

  
  


"You're a vampire?" She inquired calmly in an English accent.

  
  


"And you're creepy, now what do you want?" He asked, drinking from the cup. 

  
  


"Spike? Who is it?" Buffy called from the living room, not wanting to get up for fear of her legs falling off.

  
  


"You're Spike? But I was informed that you were dead." The woman looked genuinely confused.

  
  


"Vampire, pet, course I'm dead."

  
  


"No, no, no. I mean dead, as in no longer in existence."

  
  


"Was, but I'm back now." He shrugged, finishing off the glass of blood. The woman cringed. 

  
  


"Right, may I come in?" She walked in without waiting for him to respond. Glancing about, she headed into the living room. Buffy raised an eyebrow at the woman. "Ms. Summers, I presume?"

  
  


"Yeah. Who are you?" Buffy asked, sitting up.

  
  


The woman smiled, extending her hand to the girl. "Lilian Damprece. I'm your new watcher."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

* * *


	6. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

----------  
  
"My....what?" Buffy's eyes went wide and she ignored the woman's offer of a hand shake. She looked past her to Spike, unsure what to do.

  
  


"She doesn't need a watcher, now get out." Spike demanded, stepping between the slayer and the English woman.

  
  


The woman cleared her throat and dropped her hand to the side, her face remaining serious. "I was sent by the Watcher's Council as a result of your recent actions, Ms. Summers. It seems you have neglected your responsibilities as the slayer lately, yes?" Buffy didn't say a word, she meerly pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, glaring at the woman. 

  
  


"Get the bloody hell out of here." Spike demanded through clenched teeth, giving Lily a menacing look.

  
  


"I'm afraid I can't do that. She is my responsibility from now on, she will no longer be needing you assistance."

  
  


"What?!" Buffy finally stood, her eyes shooting daggers. "He is NOT leaving."

  
  


"I believe it will be better for both of us if he is gone, the fewer distractions we have, the sooner we'll have you performing your duty once more."

  
  


"I will not perform SHIT for you." She replied defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest. God, was Giles the only watcher to make it out of the coucil with some compassion left in him? Lily seemed unaffected by the glares coming from the pair in front of her. 

  
  


"You will do as I say, or the Council will be forced to take more extreme measures." She warned.

  
  


"Like what? Kill me and call a new slayer?"

  
  


"Don't be ridiculous, we'd never deliberately kill one of our Slayers."

  
  


"Fine. Take your measures, we're not working with you." Spike spat coldly. Both him and Buffy glared at the woman.

  
  


"I don't recall asking you to work with me, I recall asking you to leave." Lily directed at the vampire.

  
  


"He's not leaving." Buffy said flatly, her eyes icy.

  
  


"Fine." Pulling a cell phone from her pocket, Lily punched a few numbers. "Hello? Yes. Take care of it. Goodbye." The woman hung up and nodded a farewell before disapearing out the door.

  
  


"Now that was strange." Spike acknowledged, closing the door. Buffy continued to glare at the door.

  
  


"What do you think she's going to do?" Buffy asked quietly, suddenly feeling nervous. "I mean, what if they come back and try to kill you? What if they send...." He grabbed her by her shoulders, halting her rambling. 

  
  


"They won't do anything, got it? You're the strongest slayer this world has known, they'd have to be completely off their rocker to mess with you." She nodded slightly, his words only comforting her slightly. She was incredibly weak right now and wouldn't be vey good in the protection department.  
  


"Spike?"

  
  


"Yeah?"

  


"Can you still make me those Spaghetti O's?"

  
  


*****  
  


* * *

"Oof." Buffy stumbled backwards, clutching her stomach. Regaining her composure, she lunged at the vampire, nailing him in the jaw with her foot. It didn't phase him and he grinned, grabbing her fist as she went to punch him. Snarling, he pushed her back against wall, pinning her. He chuckled, putting his mouth by her ear.

  
  


"You loose, Slayer." He let out a startled yelp as the girl kneed him in the stomach, sending him to the ground. She hopped down, sitting on his stomach, a stake positioned over his heart.

  
  


"Poof, you're dead." She grinned.

  
  


"Really then?" Spike asked, quirking an eyebrow. He propped himself up on his elbows, watching the girl sitting on his stomach.

  
  


"Yup, the dusty kind of dead." She smirked at him, but her smile was replaced by a sharp yelp as he grabbed her waist and flipped her onto her back, pinning her to the mat under him. These nightly training sessions were starting to pay of. After only a few nights she was starting to get herself back together.

  
  
  
  


"You know, I could easily snap that neck of yours from here." He said playfully, trailing his cool fingers down her throat.

  
  


"And I can see your roots from here." She replied, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair. He scowled.

  
  


"Cannot."

  
  


"Can too Mister 'I have no reflection'." She spat back, grinning.

  
  


"Yes, but you have to admit, I do look pretty sexy for someone who can't see himself." Buffy laughed, pushing him off of her and climbing to her feet.

  
  


"Spare me."

  
  


"Oh come on, I'm the hottest vampire in Sunnyhell, admit it." She turned to find him standing there, smirking and waiting for her response. She had to admit, he was pretty hot. Oh, who was she kidding, he was gorgeous. He was just standing there in his black jeans, no shirt, with his hair all mussed from where she had run her fingers through it.

  
  


"Nope." She said calmly, turning on her heels. She made it a whole two steps towards the door before he had her by the waist, pulling her back against him.

  
  


"You sure?" He asked, looking down at her and cocking his head to the side, smirk still firmly in place.

  
  


"Positive." She replied, looking up at him with bright green eyes. It was like she was slowly coming back to life. Her eyes weren't the dead orbs they had been when she had found him and her color was returning to her pale skin.

  
  


"Hurt my feelings, pet." He said, pouting. She giggled, hugging the arms he had wrapped around her waist and laying her head back against his chest. This is why she always turned to him, he could make her forget anything was ever wrong, even though being with him in itself was classified as 'wrong'. She felt almost guilty for feeling this happy, she was supposed to be mourning her dead friends, not hugging vampires. He tightened his old on her, burrying his face in her neck. Sighing, she closed her eyes.

  
  


"Well, I'd really hate to break up this love fest, but I'm afraid I have to." The slayer and vampire looked up to see Lily in the doorway of the training room, looking at them in disapproval.

  
  


"I thought we told you to bugger off?" Spike released the slayer, staring venomously at the intruder.

  
  


"I'm no longer interesting in enlisting Ms. Summers' help, it is no longer needed. I just thought I should inform you that there is another slayer in town and she is more than willing to take your position."

  
  


"What? Who?" Buffy demanded. She looked past Lily as someone stepped from behind her.

  
  


"Hey B."

  
  


"Faith?!" 


	7. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

----------  
  
 "Why are you here?" Buffy spat, her tone venomous.

"Like the lady said, I'm Sunnydale's new slayer." Faith winked at Buffy, leaning against the doorframe.

"Hellmouth already has a slayer, pet." Spike said flatly, standing next to the fuming blonde.

"No, the Hellmouth has a stuck up brat who doesn't want to do her job." Faith replied, rolling her eyes.

"Oh yes, I seem to recall the grand job you did slaying, what with killing innocent people and all." Buffy remarked, crossing her arms over her chest. She saw the dark haired slayer flinch.

"Wait, this is the Rogue Slayer everyone was talkin 'bout?" Spike smirked, looking back at Faith "Hell, I thought you sounded bloody neat when I heard bout you." He looked down to see Buffy glaring at him. "Erm, not anymore, of course."

"So, I see you got yourself another vampire to play with. Got to admit, I'm likin' him better than the last one." Faith grinned, stepping forward and looking the shirtless vampire over. A low growl emitted from his chest as se stepped in front of him. "I really don't see what guys see in you, B." Shaking her head, she took a step back. "Now, if you two will excuse me, me and Ms. Duprece here have to patrol. See you around, B. Whipping boy." She smirked, following Lily out the door. Spike and Buffy just stood there, neither speaking. Spike bit his lip and looked at Buffy, waiting to see what she wanted to do.

Scowling, the angry blonde marched over to the couch, grabbed Spike's black tee and threw it at him. "Get dressed. We're patrolling."

*****

"Don't let it get to you, pet. You don't have to stop just because she showed up. You're still a slayer, bloody good one at that." Spike downed his drink in one quick gulp and watched the girl across from him. She had four empty shot glasses in front of her and was staring angrily at a fifth.  Muttering some filthy obscenities under her breath, she drank it down and stood, heading to the dance floor of the Bronze. Spike rolled his eyes, following the girl. He found her grinding up against some random frat boy, tossing her hair around as the music pulsated through the air. He clenched his jaw before walking up and pushing the protesting boy out of the way. Buffy giggled, draping her arms over the vampire's shoulders and continuing to dance.

"Jealous?"

"Who me?" He grinned at the drunk girl, humoring her and beginning to dance.  "Not a chance."

"Really?" Buffy shrugged, turned, and grabbed the nearest sap and started dancing with him.  

Spike smirked, grabbing her by the waist and pulling her back towards him. "I lied…….smartass." 

"Good."  She said happily.

"Look at them. God, fucking having sex with their clothes on if you ask me." Faith shook her head at the dancing pair, sipping on a beer. Lily looked around, cringing.

"This is what you consider 'fun'?"

"Nope. You want fun, I'll show you fun." The girl stood, walking in the direction of Buffy and Spike. Brushing herself against a stunning blonde chap, she pulled him along with her, grinding her hips against his. He grinned in satisfaction, he wouldn't have to work for a meal tonight. Deliberately positioning herself and her new dancing partner in Buffy's view, she brought herself up to kiss the boy, not even bothering with introductions. He wasn't about to object.

"Bitch." Buffy ground out, watching the other slayer rub herself against the boy. Spike turned to see the other slayer. Faith looked up, grinning slyly. Much to his surprise, his slayer ground herself against him, trying to prove she was better than her opponent.

"Buffy, pet, you're drunk. Are you sure yo………" She cut him off, slamming her lips against his. He pulled away, taking unnecisary deep breaths.  "Buffy…."

"Shut up." She returned her lips to his, forgetting about Faith. Screw Faith. Faith didn't have a Spike, now did she? Buffy giggled, looping her fingers around the belt loops on his pants. She could have gone on kissing him like that all night, but no, some hell-related thing had to ruin it. They pulled away from each other as a large crash sounded through the room. Panicked patrons ran towards the door as the two slayers and vampire moved in the direction they were coming from. They were met with a group of eight vampires, two of which had already finished feeding.

----------

Short chap cuz I'm sleepy. Please review!!


	8. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

----------  
  
"Buffy, luv," Spike ducked a punch from one of the vamps and twisted it's arm behind it's back.  "Why don't you go sit down and let us take care of this?" He watched as Faith dusted another of their foes.

"Nope. I'm the slayer, gotta slay." Buffy replied, grinning. She threw a punch at a female vamp, missing by a mile. The vamp raised an eyebrow in confusion before shrugging it off and throwing the girl into a wall. 

"Buffy." Spike dusted his vamp and looked to the girl, who was now sitting against the wall. "Stay there." He demanded, returning his attention to the vampires at hand. Buffy pouted, crossing her arms over her chest. Alas, a drunk slayer is no good to the world, seeing as she can't even walk straight, let alone aim her stake.

"So, you're B's new sex toy?" Faith asked casually, flipping a vamp onto it's back.

"Somethin' like that."

Wait a minute, wasn't he supposed to protest about how him and Buffy were madly in love? So he was just her sex toy? Faith never thought Buffy would have it in her to use a guy, she was always so damn innocent and perfect.

Made her sick.

"So you're not dating?" She dusted another and flipped her stake between her fingers, grinning. She had forgotten what a rush slaying was. Then again, anything seems like a rush as opposed to sitting in an empty jail cell all day.

"M'not too sure on that. I'll have to get back with you."  He kicked a vampire away and grabbed a nearby chair, smashing it over the bar counter. He then proceeded to use a broken shard of wood to dust the vamp.

Faith looked at the fighting blonde vampire quizzically. Was he serious? Wholesome little Buffy was actually milking a guy for all he was worth. This was priceless. "Do you love her?"

"Course, wouldn't be hangin' round here if I didn't." He dusted the last vamp, smirking.

"So do you like have a whole 'no sex' motif like Angel?" The dark haired slayer asked, pocketing her stake.

"Nope, I'm just your run off the mill soulless bloodsucker." Spike offered his hand to Buffy, who scowled before letting him pull her up. She was the slayer and he told her not to slay. Stupid….British guy!! Oh yes, way too much alcohol when one's brain begins to rely on kindergarten insults. He steadied the wobbly girl and grinned, noting her rather peeved expression. "What's your problem?"

"You." She spat. "Don't worry, Buffy, you're the best slayer ever. Then all of a sudden, it's 'Sit down and let us do your job!'" She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the floor.

"Buffy, you can even stand with out goin' all tipsy, how do you 'spect to slay?"

"Easy, I poke 'em with Mr. Pointy and then….then…." Her enthusiastic rambling halted. "Spike?"

"Yeah pet?" He asked, rather amused.

"I don't feel good….." She pouted, letting her head fall on his chest. He chuckled, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"And this is the perky ass slayer I was intimidated by a few years ago?" Faith commented, placing a hand on her hip.

"Faith?" 

Faith turned, coming face to face with Lily. "Oh, you. What's up?"

"I do believe that's a vampire you're fraternizing with." She nodded her head towards Spike, who was holding up a rather sick looking Buffy.

"Yeah, so?"

"So, I will not have you forming unhealthy habits like Ms. Summers. Any vampire is bad news and I will not have you putting yourself in jeopardy."

"Does it really look like he plans on hurting me?" Faith asked, he evil snotty side beginning to emerge more fiercely. Lily looked up at Spike, who just raised his eyebrows. 

"No. But being in their company could be hazardous. We should be on our way. Come along." Lily signaled for Faith to follow as she walked towards the exit.

Oh she did not just tell Faith what to do. Faith could care less that Lily and her council friends had pulled a few strings and gotten her out of prison, she was not taking orders like someone's lapdog. Not happening.

"No." Faith shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest defiantly.

"I do believe we have an arrangement, Faith. Either you do as I say and fulfill your duties as slayer or the Council will take you into custody. And believe me, prison will look like a joke compared to what they will do to you." Faith's aggressive exterior faded. Prison sucked, how could the Council be worse? She looked nervously over at Spike, who didn't really seem to care much in the matter. Buffy was too busy trying not to vomit all over the vampire to care.

"Fine." Faith finally gave up, following after the woman. They were almost to the door when she heard Buffy call after her.

"Did she tell you?" The blonde slayer had her arms wrapped around her stomach as she stood a few feet in front of Spike.

"Tell me what?" Faith asked, looking between Lily and Buffy.

"Why I stopped."

"Well, no. I just thought…" 

"That I thought I was too good to be a slayer? That my life was to perfect to have any vampires inconvenience it, right?" Buffy finished for her. Faith looked to the ground, not replying. Buffy snorted, shaking her head. "They're dead, Faith. Dead."

For some reason, the tone of Buffy's voice sent chills down her spine. "Who, B?" Was that a hint of compassion in her voice?

"Everyone. You name 'em, they're dead. Hell, Spike was dead up until last week." Buffy's voice remained flat, the only hint of her pain showing in her watery eyes.

"You mean Xander? Willow?"

"…Dawn, Tara, Anya, Giles, my mom…. The list goes on and on." A tear fell from the girl's eyes as she scowled at the other slayer, unmoving. Faith shifted her weight, unsure what to say. 

"I'm sorry, B." She muttered quietly, suddenly feeling guilty. She had always savored inflicting emotional pain on the rival slayer, but this? Something about this made her stomach lurch.

"Fuck." She spat. "You, sorry? That's real funny, Faith, fucking hilarious. You have no idea what it's like to lose someone you love. You don't know how to love…" She felt Spike's hand grasp her shoulder, pulling her back towards him. She pulled away, marching up to Faith. "That's why I stopped, Faith! That's why, you happy? I'm not the fucking perfect person you think I am!" Faith's eyes grew wide as Buffy got in her face, shouting. For some reason she couldn't find it in her to oppose the girl.

She pitied her.

Now that was a feeling she had never had towards Buffy. She had always thought any pain the blonde felt was freaking hilarious, but not this. She wanted to cry for the girl, pull her into her arms and hug her. For once she was the strong one, not Buffy. She was the one with her feet on the ground. Buffy was an emotional wreck, her only stability a bleach blonde vampire back from the dead.

"Buffy…." 

"Fuck you, Faith. Fuck. You." Buffy didn't let her finish. She wanted to rip her throat out and dance around the room. And she would have, had her head not felt like it was about to explode. Spike came up behind her, giving Faith one last glance before gently ushering Buffy past Lily and out the door. Faith didn't say a word as she stood there.

"Let's go." Lily commanded after a few moments silence.

"No." Faith turned to face her, glaring. "No…" She shook her head in disbelief at the woman before storming out the door. Lilly clucked her tongue, pulling her cell phone from her pocket.

"It's me. Yes. We have a problem…." She stared coldly in the direction Faith had taken off in, her eyes icy.

Well, mzgora, I believe the answer is yes. She is eeeevil, lol. Please review!! 


	9. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

----------

  
  


Spike trailed a few feet behind the slayer, watching as she walked towards the cemetary. She hadn't said much of anything since last night apart from muttered curses as the alcohol she took in made her sick. Despite his argument that she should lay down for awhile, she insisted on slaying.

  
  


And, seeing the feral look in her eyes, he wasn't about to protest.

  
  


She walked quickly, his leather jacket swirling in the wind around her. She looked like a predator, her eyes gleaming with pure hatred. Seeing Faith had hit a nerve and she wasn't about to be shown up by the renegade slayer. 

  
  


She was better than her, she would prove it. 

  
  


Marching through the cemetery gates, she looked around. She really wanted to kill something right now. What better way to take out your frustrations?

  
  


"Buffy?" Spike finally asked after following her around the cemetery for over an hour. The patrol had been silent up until this point and she jumped at the sound of the voice, forgetting he was there.

  
  


"What?" She ground out, sitting down on a large headstone.

  
  


"I don't think there's anything here, luv." He said gently, sitting next to her. She didn't speak as she scowled, focusing her eyes on the ground. How was she supposed to be better than Faith when there were no vampires around to slay? "Come on, pet. Whatta you say we go check near the Bronze, there were quite a few 'round there last night." He stood, offering the girl his hand.

  
  


"Fine.." She muttered, allowing him to pull her to her feet. They resumed their silent walk, heading towards the other end of town. They cut through a small alley, neither speaking once again, but the silence was broken by a loud sound from over head. They exchanged glances before running towards the main street to get a better look.

  
  


"What the..." Buffy instinctively took a step towards Spike, huddling against him in the middle of the street. They stood under the lights of one of three helicopters, all of which had lights searching the area. Spike squinted against the beam, trying to get a better look at the chopper. Even over the loud roar from the low flying choppers, they picked up on a sharp scream from nearby. Turning, they saw Faith emerge from around the corner of the street, running frantically.

  
  


"Faith?" Buffy's eyes returned to the sky as the lights went from them to the running slayer.

  
  


"Faith. Give it up, there's no use in running." The loud voice echoed through the air, coming from the speakers of one of the choppers. 

  
  


Lily.

  
  


A group of men, some carrying guns, rounded the corner in pursuit of the girl. Spike and Buffy both watched, stunned, as the group of at least twenty men cornered Faith against a building, blocking off all means of escape. 

  
  


The Council.

  
  


Faith's eyes grew wide as the men approached her, obviously ready to take her back into custody. Two grabbed her arms and she kicked at them, knocking them from her. Suddenly, all of the men were on the flailing girl, trying to constrain her. She managed to knock a few out, but a shot rang out. She fell to her knees, a tranquilzer dart protruding from her neck. Two more of the men hauled her to her feet, dragging her limp form towards one of the landing choppers.

  
  


They never made it.

  
  


They were sent sprawling to the ground by an angry blonde slayer. She glared at them as Faith's body slumped to the ground. The rest of the group exchanged glances before lunging at the second slayer, prepared to take her out as well. She easily knocked most of them to the ground, but was over powered as more lunged at the same time, pinning her flailing limbs. One raised a tranquilizer gun, ready to subdue the girl, but never got the chance as the weapon was knocked from his grasp by a snarling blonde vampire.

  
  


"Not a good idea, mate." He ground out, smirking as he crushed the gun under his boot. The man went to swing at Spike, but the vampire caught his fist in midswing, twisting it and throwing him to the ground. His brow furrowed in confusion and he looked to Buffy, who looked just as shocked as him.

  
  


Why could he hurt humans?

  
  


Shrugging, the pair went back to beating the living daylights out of the council's goons. One of the men grinned as he shot Spike with a dart. Spike turned, looking at the man like he was the stupidest person alive. He pulled the dart from his neck and tossed it to the ground. "Vampire. These don't work." He said before punching the guy in the jaw and sending him to the ground. Buffy knocked the last guy out with a boot to the head as Spike spooned Faith of the ground. He lifted her limp form as Buffy walked up next to him.

  
  


"Well done. I'm impressed." They turned to find Lily standing behind them, an unamused look on her face.

  
  


"Bugger of, wench."

  
  


"I'm afraid I can't do that. Now if you would be so kind as to hand over the girl so she can be confined, I shall be on my way."

  
  


"Why would you want to confine her? I thought she was your slayer?" Buffy asked defiantly.

  
  


"No. She was a tool to get you slaying again. She was useless compared to you, so we used your jealousy of the girl to get you slaying again. It worked, seeing as you have spent the night patroling, am I right?" She smiled smuggly, obviously quite proud of herself.

  
  


"So you used her to trick Buffy?" Spike asked coldly, glaring at the woman.

  
  


"Quite so. Now, if you don't mind, I will take the girl and get her out of your hair. Permanently." Lily took a step towards Spike, but he and Buffy both took a step back, glaring.

  
  


"No." Buffy said simply.

  
  


"Pardon?" Lily asked, quite surprised. She had expected Buffy to be glad to get rid of the girl, seeing as they hated each other so.

  
  


"I. Said. No." Buffy's face was cold as she walked towards the woman, stopping mere inches in front of her. "Now get out of the Hellmouth before I make you leave."

  
  


Lilly cocked her head to the side, studying the girl. "Why do you insist on protecting her? I do believe she has tried to kill you and your friends on numerous occasions, correct?"

  
  


Buffy smirked, walking backwards to stand alongside Spike. "She's not the only one. Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer...." They both smirked as they turned to leave, walking back towards her home and leaving a stunned Lily in the center of the street.

  
  


"What now, Miss?!" A man shouted from the grounded chopper. Lily clenched her jaw and walked back towards him, hopping into the chopper.

  
  


"Get us out of here. We're going home." The man nodded, signaling for the pilot to take thm back up to join the other two choppers in flight. Lily watched the two slayer and the vampire below as they flew off into the night. Let them live, they'd kill each other eventually anyway....

  
  


*****

  
  


Almost done. Next chapter will tell why Spike can hurt people. Please review!!


	10. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

----------  
  
Faith's eyes lolled open and she scanned the area around her. Everything was blurry. What happened, where was she? Oh shit, the Council. She shot up but was stopped short and pulled back down. She wiggled her hands to find them bound together above her head. Damn. She pulled again but failed to release them from whatever they were tied to.

"Glad you could join us."

Her eyes reopened slowly and she blinked a few times before focusing on Spike. Glancing around, she concluded that she was in Buffy's room, obviously bound to the bed. 

Better than the Council….

"Well, if this isn't kinky, I'm not sure what is…" She smirked at Spike. He arched his eyebrows and approached the bed. Crawling up over her body, he positioned his face above hers. She grinned, eyeing him seductively. "I love it when B's guys are so loyal to her….." Spike chuckled, burying his head in the hair by her neck. She wiggled under him and giggled, but was stopped abrubtly as his hand quickly grasped her neck. He pulled away and looked down at her, his vampiric features in place.

"You do _anything_ to hurt her and I'll kill you, got it?" He demanded harshly, tightening his grasp. Her eyes narrowed. He smirked, did she plan on letting him strangle her to death? "Well?" She clenched her jaw and nodded. "Good." He released her and stood, leaving her glaring at him from the bed.

"Hey." Buffy offered the vampire as she walked into the room. He smiled at her before nodding to the bed.  She turned to look at a rather angry Faith."Oh, you're up." Faith just scowled. "You're really not one for gratitude, are you?" She asked, rather annoyed. Maybe saving her sorry ass had been a mistake. Stupid Buffy, stupid. "Fine, pout all you want. I'll bring you some food up later. Come on Spike." She grabbed the vampire's arm and dragged him out of the room. "I _really_ don't like her."

"And that's why you saved her?" He asked, smirking as they walked down the stairs.

"No, I saved her because that's my job. Kill the demons, save the humans – even if I have to save them from other human creeps. And believe me, none are creepier than the Council." He didn't say anything. She turned to look at him as they walked into the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine, pet." She looked at him skeptically as she filled a glass of water.

**_Kill the demons, save the humans….._**

****

"Spike, I didn't mean….."

"Don't worry 'bout it, Slayer." He said, hopping up and taking a seat on the counter. She sighed, setting her glass on the table. Walking towards him, she grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him back down so he was standing in front of her.

"I don't care what you are. You're more human than anyone else I know. _Especially_ Faith. " She looked up into eye, offering him a small smile.

Great, now what do you bloody say to that? Thanks? No sodding way. Instead he just smiled down at the girl, running his cool hand down the side of her face. He was almost positive that if the rest of her friends had still been alive that she wouldn't have said that to save her life, but now there was no one here to tell her it was wrong. No one to point out what a horrible creature he was.

And it hurt.

Damnit, he actually missed them. Well, of course he missed Dawn, she was like his kid sis. And Red and Pixie weren't really all that bad. But Giles, Xander? Fuck, he actually missed the sodding Whelp. Now that he thought about, he would have given his life to save any of the, even to save Xander.

And they never knew. They never knew he cared.

"I love you." He said softly, pulling the slayer into his arms. He'd sooner take a bath in holy water than have her not know he loved her with all his heart, unbeating or not.

"I know."  She replied simply, resting her head against his chest.

Short chap, I know. My mum kicked her b/f outta the house and the bum took my computer!! Gah!! I swear I almost died. I actually watched TV over the weekend. I **never** watch TV. **Never**. Well, cept when Buffy's on. Oh well. I should have a new chapter up Friday night. Adios!


	11. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Please review!!!

----------  
  
It was almost nightfall when Buffy decided to head back into her room to check on Faith. The girl was still bound to the bed, scowling. Her wrists were red and her hands ad a slight purplish tint to them. Idiot. She had fought with the restraints and only managed to tightened them and cut off her circulation. Oh yes, Buffy was beginning to remember how Faith never felt the need to think before she acted. She shook her head at the girl and headed over to her dresser. She could feel Faith's cold eyes glaring at her as she shuffled through the drawers, producing an old black tank top. She headed to her closet. Pulling some worn jeans from a hanger and bunching them together with the shirt, she threw both garments on the foot of the bed. Faith watched her with angry eyes as she untied her wrists, her face remaining stonic.

"Get changed and get downstairs. You can eat and then go patrolling with us." Buffy said flatly as she turned to exit, leaving Faith rubbing her wrists as she sat up.

"What am I, B? Your new pet? I don't think so…." She spat at the retreating girl, glaring.

Buffy halted and turned slowly. Her voice was chilling, commanding. "No, you're a guest in this house and as long as you're here you **will** do as I say. Unless of course you'd prefer I let you go back to being your usual 'independent' self so you can get your sorry ass locked up again. I am **not** here to babysit you, Faith, try anything and even if I can't bring myself to kill you, you can be sure as hell Spike won't hesitate to snap your neck. Get dressed, we're leaving in twenty minutes." She gave the scowling girl one last look before marching out the door and heading downstairs. There was no way she was going to put up with that girl's shit, not a chance in hell.

"So, lil Priss Bitch Slayer in a better mood?" Spike asked, standing from the couch as Buffy entered the living room. He looped his thumbs through his pockets and stood there, looking the picture of innocence.

How the hell could a psychotic, chaotic, kill-crazy demon be capable of doing that?

Easy, he wasn't as psychotic….or chaotic…or kill-crazy as he used to be, well, at least when it came to humans. He still had a passion for whooping demons. But he was still a demon, wasn't he? A very human demon…..

"Well?" He asked, raising his eyebrows at the girl. She was just standing there, staring at him, seeming to be lost in thought.

"Huh? Oh, right. Sorry." She rambled, shaking her head. "Right, Faith. No better mood there, she's still running for the Bitch of the Year Award."

"Well then, she's got some fierce competition, ey?" He replied, smirking.

Her eyes went wide. "I am **so** no as bitchy as her." She crossed her arms over her chest, her nostrils flaring as his smirk transformed into a grin.

"Pretty damn close." He muttered.

"Am not!" She screeched, dropping her arms to the side. How dare **anyone** compare her to Faith.

"Are too, look at you now. You're being loud and your face is turning all red." He pointed out and continued to grin, quite amused. He missed being able to pick on the girl. It was one of his favorite pastimes.

"I am **not** all red. I'm **not** bitchy. And I am **not** loud!!!"

"Bitchy much?" Buffy turned at the sound of Faith's voice to find her walking down the stairs, giving her a strange look. She could hear Spike trying to keep from laughing behind her and turned to face him.

"Shut up before I dust you. Now let's go." She ground out, grabbing his shirt and dragging him out the front door. Faith began to follow.

"I thought I was getting food before we left?!" She shouted, closing the door and following after the pair.

"You can get a stupid hamburger….." Buffy spat as she released Spike. He fell into step next to her, keeping up with her quick pace as Faith continued to walk behind them.

"S'matter, luv?" He asked, smirking. She glared and kept walking. "Oh, come off it you little gnat. I was playing, you know that." He grinned as he threw his arm over her shoulder. "You forgot your coat." He pointed out, noticing that for once the girl wasn't drowning in his duster. She glanced down at her outfit, her face softening. She wasn't wearing it, was she? This was the first time since…well, that day, that she had left her house without wearing it. It was sort of like a security blanket, she supposed. It had made her feel safe, almost like he was there with her.

Almost.

But she didn't need that now, did she? She had Live-N-Kicking Spike now…………… well, at least Kicking…..

"Yeah, I guess I did…" She muttered, looking back up at him. She seemed to have completely forgotten about her anger and instead was focusing on how she actually felt safe. Hell, she even had Faith walking behind her and she felt safe. She was probably preparing to bury a blade in the back of her head or something, but that didn't matter, she had someone with her who loved her. It had been so long since she had that, someone to care whether she was alive or dead. He was smiling at her but it faded as her eyes filled with tears. She didn't deserve his love. He had died to get her out of that house after she had failed to save her friends, her sister…. He tried to save Dawn, all while she sat and watched Willow and Xander's lifeless forms. Some friend, some sister…

"Buffy?" Buffy turned her head to look back at Faith. The dark haired girl nodded her head to the side, motioning to The Double Meat Palace. "Food, remember? Haven't eaten in almost a day."

"Oh, right, sorry…" Faith's face scrunched up. Buffy wasn't being her usual fiery self for once. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Now it was Buffy's turn to be confused. Faith was actually showing a hint of concern for someone other than herself?  "….thanks."

"Whatever…" Faith muttered, feeling awkward. Civilized conversation and Buffy didn't mix. "I'll be back." She started to walk towards the building, but halted. She turned back to Buffy, smirking. "Money?"

"Oh, right." Buffy mumbled. She craned her neck, peering through the window. "Evlyn's working. Just tell her you're friends with me, she'll give you a few burgers or something." Faith gave her a weird look and shook her head before walking back towards the building. So the Buffster was hanging out with burger junkies now, aye? Tidbits of info like this were just priceless.

"You're not okay." Buffy's head snapped back to Spike as he spoke. She had almost completely forgotten he was there, despite the fact that his arm was still draped across her shoulder.

"I'm fine…" She mumbled, trying to sound convincing.

"No you're not." He said knowingly, waiting patiently for her to tell him what was wrong. That was another thing he had learned from her, patience. He had never been patient before he met her. Always 'get it done and get it done fast.' But lately he had learned he was better not to rush the blonde, especially considering the mental state she was in. Who could blame her though? She had been through so much in such a short time, seen so much more pain and suffering than most people could only imagine.

She let out a defeated sigh and cuddled up against him. "I'm cold."

"Vampire luv, no body heat. I won't very much keep you warm." He said, grinning.

"Yes you will." She said simply and quietly, not moving.

*****

"You failed to recover the Slayer." The grayed haired man said sternly, looking crossly at the young woman sitting across from him.

"The other slayer interfered." Lily answered flatly.

"Summers?"

"Yes."

"Interesting. That girl is a strange one, she is. Becoming a nuisence if you ask me." He said, a cold smirk crossing his features as he leaned back in his chair. "And the vampire assisted her?"

"Yes, Mr. Travors."

"We'll just have to take care of them then, won't we?"

"Are you suggesting we kill them?" Lilly inquired. The idea was completely absurd…..yet very tempting.

"Of course not. The Council would never put the blood of one of their own slayer's on their hands. We'll take care of the Summers girl and her vampire. Then we'll take care of Faith. I think it's about time a new slayer was called, for these two have become a bit too open minded for my tastes, agreed?"

"What do you have in mind?" Lily asked, smiling just as coldly. This was **very** intriguing…… 


	12. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

A/N Okies, I kinda forgot to explain why Spike can hurt people. Let's just say that when he died, the chip was deactivated and since he was brought back to life, it remained inactive. K? :P

---------

"Spike!" Buffy ducked to avoid a punch and slammed her stake in the female vampire's chest as she rose. Turning to Spike, she tossed him her stake and watched as he finished off two more of the vamps. Behind them Faith was in the process of taking out the fourth and final one. Buffy dusted the ash from her clothes as Spike walked up to her. They both watched as Faith dusted the last vamp, her usual cocky smirk in place. Buffy rolled her eyes and began to head back towards her house.

"What's the hurry?" Faith questioned, following behind them.

Buffy turned and looked at her like she was an idiot. "Sunrise."

"Oh, right, your boyfriend's a vampire. As always."

"Nothing gets by you, does it?" Buffy remarked harshly as the trio turned on to Revello drive. Spike smirked as he watched the girl walk ahead. Boyfriend, aye? He followed after her as she stormed through her front door and fell onto the couch, her arms crossed over her chest.

"What's wrong now, luv?" He asked, taking a seat next to her. Her eyes fell to where Faith was walking through the door. She shut it gently behind her and looked over at the pair on the couch. She was definately the odd man out here. Buffy snorted and returned her eyes to the floor. "Buffy, pet, is that all you're going to do while she's here? Sulk and complain? It was your bloody idea to save 'er, remember?"

Faith rocked back on her heals nervously. The tension in the room was thick and she wasn't enjoying it. "You care if I go take a shower?" she asked, eager just to get out of the room.

"Whatever." Buffy repled, not looking up. Faith nodded and headed up the stairs. Spike waited until he heard the door close and the water running before he spoke again. 

"She doesn't have to stay here, you know. You saved her life, that doesn't me you have to take her in."

Buffy swallowed and ran her hands through her hair. "I know."

"Then why don't you just tell her you want her gone?" He asked, cocking his head to the side.

Buffy chuckled grimly and looked up at him. "Because she'll just get into trouble again."

"And you don't want her to?" He asked. Buffy shook her head. Smiling, Spike pulled the girl into his lap. "I'm surprised this house isn't full of stray puppies and kitties."

Buffy smiled slightly, curling up closer to him. "That would be more like something Dawn would do……" she felt him take an unneeded breath.

"Yeah, it would, wouldn't it?"

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes. God did she miss Dawn……

----------

"Mr. Travors, may I ask why we don't just get a shapeshifting demon to play the roll? It would be much easier…."

Travors gave Lily a stern look. "Because they would know. You forget, unlike you and I, they can sense demons. They can sense those they love. We need the real thing if this is going to work." Lily nodded understandingly and looked around the large chamber they were in. Four other men were in the room, each standing in a corner, a torch in hand. They were at least a mile underground and the air in the room was cold and smelled. She shuddered.

"Are we ready to begin?" She asked, looking back at Travors.

"Almost." He walked to the center of the room, standing in the middle of a large diagram inscribed on the marble floor. Reaching into his coat pocket, he produced a small gold encased gem. He leaned down and placed the jewel into a crevass on the floor. It fit perfectly. With a sly grin he and Lily made their way back towards the entrance to the chamber. A large hooded demon walked past them and into the room. Travors nodded at him. "You may begin." The demon made a noise that sounded almost like a laugh, but came out more as a screech. Travors shuddered. The council rarely worked with demons and he despised them when they did. This one would most likely be killed when he completed the task at hand. 

----------

Spike was laying across the couch, Buffy sleeping curled up next to him. Faith sat on a nearby chair, flipping through channels on the TV. Daytime TV sucked. She stopped on an episode of Jerry Springer.

"You know, they should really make a demon version of this show…" Spike suggested, grinning. "Now **that** would be interesting."

"Tell me about it. 'My wife is cheating on me with a werewolf.'" Faith replied, smirking. The show drawled on, a cascade of hookers and trailer trash alcoholics coming on stage and fighting, none of them as enticing as a demon would have been.

The phone rang. Spike's brow furrowed as he gently lifted Buffy from him and stood. She stirred slightly and she watched him with half open eyes. Faith watched as he marched over to the phone stand and picked up the receiver.

"Ello?" He twirled the cord around his fingers as he listened to whoever was on the other end. "Who is this?" His face scrunched up and he looked to Buffy, shrugging. "They want to talk to you." She stood and yawned as she walked towards him, taking the phone.

"Hello?" She said sleepily. All her friends were dead, so who would be calling her? Angel? No, he only called at night when he wanted to check up on her and she hadn't gotten a phone call from him since Spike had gotten back. He had been slightly relieved when he found out that the slayer wasn't alone in Sunnydale anymore, but wasn't so keen on the idea that Spike was staying with her. 

"Who is it?" Spike asked curiously. She put up he finger, signaling for him to wait a minute. Suddenly her sleepy eyes went wide and filled with tears. Her body slumped to the floor and she dropped the phone. Spike was by her side in an instant, pulling the crying girl towards him. "Buffy? Buffy, what's wrong?" He asked softly, rocking her small form slightly, trying to calm her. Noticing the phone on the floor he picked it up. "Who is this?!"  He demanded harshly, wanting to know who had driven the girl to tears. The voice that came back wasn't the same one he had heard moments before. It was his turn for tears to spring to his eyes. "Nibblet?"


	13. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

---------

Spike's tearful eyes flitted back and forth as he listened to the terrified voice on the other end of the receiver. He unconsciously tightened his grip on Buffy, whose eyes were staring blankly at the floor. "Dawnie… Bit, is that really you?" He asked shakily, not believing he was hearing this. It couldn't be her, she was dead, this was just some sick joke. Faith watched him as he listened, tears now streaming his face. Suddenly he grew alert, "Dawn? Dawn?!" He was nearly yelling into the receiver now and Buffy looked up at him, startled. Some one else was talking now, the man from before, the one who had asked to speak with Buffy.

"Spike?" Buffy asked weakly. He didn't answer as he listened intently to whoever was talking now. She tried to take the phone back from him but he pulled away and stood, leaving her sitting on the floor. More tears brimmed her green eyes. Why wouldn't he let her talk to her sister? Faith watched the vampire with interest, unsure what was going on. Suddenly Spike dropped the phone from his ear, holding it by his side. He walked solemnly over to the phone stand and hung it up as Buffy stared at him with confused eyes. Reaching down, he helped the shaky girl to her feet. "Was that her?" She asked softly, not sure what else to say. Had it been Dawn? Where was she? Was she really alive?

"Yeah…yeah, pet, it was."  He said softly, still unbelieving. It was her, wasn't it? She had sounded so scared, so alone. He took an unneeded breath and clenched his jaw. His pained expression faded and he took off up the stairs. Buffy's eyes watched him frantically before she followed.

"What are you doing?!" She demanded, following him into her room. He threw a bag at her and started shoving a few things of his own into another.

"Get your stuff together. We're leaving." He demanded, closing his bag. He halted, thinking. Suddenly he took off back into the hallway and she followed, confused.

"Spike, where…" Her sharp demanding tone faded as he swung Dawn's door open and headed inside. He glanced around quickly before heading to her closet. Grabbing a handful of clothes, he threw them into the bag along with his things. Buffy stood just inside the doorway, watching. He grabbed a few more things from Dawn's drawers and looked around frantically to make sure he didn't need anything else. "Where?" She asked quietly, understanding. He finally halted his rampage and looked at her, seeing how upset she was. They definitely had different ways of dealing with things. Sighing, he walked over to her and pulled her into his arms.

"England." He replied softly, running his cool fingers through her hair. She nodded into his chest before pulling away.

"I'll meet you downstairs." She said simply as she hurried to go gather her things. Spike watched her go and turned to survey the room once more. His blue eyes fell on the journal on her dresser. Walking over, he snatched it up and threw it in the bag as he headed out the door. His Bit was back and he would be damned if he was going to leave her with those council goons.

----------

Dawn sat huddled in the corner of the small room, her arms clenched tightly around herself. Her eyes were focused on the silver door handle. It was the only thing in the room that wasn't white. The floor was white, the bed was white, the blankets were white, the walls were white, even the big scratchy jumpsuit they had given her to wear was white. Thinking about the scratchy fabric made her shift uncomfortably and curl up tighter. Part of her was glad they had given her the jumpsuit because, despite the fact that the fabric was trying to kill her, it kept her warm in the cool room. She pulled her bare feet under herself and clenched her eyes shut. Everything was so strange……

"Ms. Summers?" Dawn jumped at the voice and looked up to find a woman staring down at her. When had she come in? The woman smiled down at her, but it was in no way reassuring, it sent chills down the girl's spine. She huddled closer to the wall. "Do you have any idea where you are, Ms. Summers?" The woman asked. Evidently this was a business only visit. Dawn shook her head. "You are in containment by the Council. My name is Lily, I'm one of the Council's top watchers."

"Giles…" Dawn muttered absently, remembering how she had watched him die. She had yet to speak more than two words at a time since she had gotten back. Her mind was too jumbled to connect more than one thought together, let alone speak.

"Ah, yes. Your sister's watcher, correct?" Dawn nodded slightly and Lily smirked. "The old man was a coot, a disgrace to the Council. Your sister was out of control, defiant. He had absolutely no handle on her." Dawn shook her head and glared as Lily began to walk slowly towards her.  "You don't believe me? Then why did your sister insist on having her mortal friends help with her duties? Why did she insist on having the very creatures she was summoned to destroy fight along side her? She's gone against everything this Council has established over the centuries. **She** was a disgrace. No, she **is** a disgrace."

"No." Dawn said defiantly as she cupped her hands over her ears and looked away from the woman. She was wrong. Buffy was the best there was and she had Giles to thank for it. Him, the scoobies, even Spike, they all made her stronger. 

Lily crouched down next to her, wanting to be sure she heard her. "Believe what you want, child. But in the end, remember that you died because of her. **Everyone** died because of her." She stood and turned back towards the door, leaving Dawn.

"You're wrong." Dawn spat, glaring at the retreating form. "They **lived** because of her." She swallowed back her tears and stared icily as Lily spun back around to face her. "And **you'll** die because of her….." Lily stared at the girl for a few moments, her face expressionless. When nothing more was said, she turned and walked from the room. The door made a sharp click as it locked and the sound bounced off the walls. When the footsteps in the hall faded away, the girl broke down into sobs.

----------

"Wait, you're going to England?!" Faith questioned, following the pair down one of the airports long corridors. This whole matter was confusing the hell out of her. 

"Have to." Spike replied, throwing their bags quickly onto a conveyer belt. 

"Why? Dawn's there? I thought she was dead!" Fait screeched, thoroughly confused. She saw Buffy flinch. That had come out a bit harsher than she had planned. "B, I.."

Buffy turned to Faith, fury in her eyes. "Faith, for once in your life, just Shut. The. Fuck. Up. I don't want your sympathy, I don't want your grief. I want you to keep your god damned mouth closed, alright?!" Faith just nodded.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked flatly. Buffy thought for a moment, but shook her head.

"No. Stay, at least until we get back." She sighed, looking at Faith. She was actually going to leave the girl to stay in her house for however long she was gone? Well, it wasn't like there was anyone around for her to hurt anymore and someone had to watch the hellmouth…. "Will you be okay?" she asked grimly.

Faith grinned. "Five by five." Buffy gave her a half smile before she and Spike turned and headed towards their plane. 

"B?" Buffy turned and faced the girl, starting to become annoyed once again. "Good luck."

----------


	14. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

---------

Buffy frantically tried to flag down a taxi from the side of the street. They had about forty-five minutes before the sun would rise and she wasn't in the mood to carry Spike around in an ashtray. She groaned as another one sped by. "Damnit, Spike, this isn't working!" She stomped her foot in a very immature-fashion. She was in an all around bad mood and refused to listen when Spike had told her to sleep on the plane. She was regretting it now.

"That's 'cause you're doing it all wrong." He marched into the center of the street and stood there, hands shoved in the pockets of his duster. Buffy had insisted he take the jacket back and after arguing for most of the plane ride on the matter, he finally gave in. He didn't mind the arguing though, it had kept both their minds off of what they were about to do. He cocked his head to the side and grinned at the line of cars forming in front of him, most of them honking or with their drivers shouting strings of curses. Buffy shook her head and marched over to the nearest stopped cab and hopped in. Spike waved at the car in front of him before running to join Buffy in the cab.

"That was real smart, Eintein." Buffy remarked, smirking as he closed the door.

"What can I say? I got the brains, you got the looks." He paused, thinking this over. "No, I take that back. I think I got those too." He grinned as she punched him in the arm. "So, I take it we're heading to the nearest hotel?"

Buffy's smile faded and her features went back to being serious. "No." She shoved her hand into her pocket and produced a crumpled piece of paper and handed it to the driver. "We're going here." The driver gave them a disgruntled look before pealing away. Some way for a person to catch a cab….. 

Spike raised an eyebrow at her. "We're going to the place Giles left me…" She said quietly, looking down. He nodded, taking her hand in his.

"Do you think she'll be okay?" He asked after a few moments, looking down at her.

"Who, Dawn?"

"No, I know she'll be fine. Me 'n you can kick some major watcher ass if need be, but we'll get 'er." He sighed, seeming a bit upset.

"Who?" Buffy asked curiously. She wished she was as confident about the whole 'saving Dawn' issue.

"We left my car with Faith……" Horrible images of how the girl could destroy his DeSoto ran through his mind. They had gotten the car from the factory he was storing it in and had driven it to the airport, only bringing Faith along so she could drive it home. Buffy smirked, letting her head fall onto his shoulder.

"I'm sure your car will be fine."

----------

"Wow…." Buffy stood gaping at the structure in front of her. She had always pictured Giles in a little old apartment, but this? Her eyes scanned the home, which seemed about five times as large as her house. It looked to be three stories, along with an attic and basement. The yard was small, and, ironically, was encased by a small white fence.

"Looks like you get your white picket fence after all, now if you don't mind, I'd prefer not to go all extra crispy." Spike remarked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

"Huh?" Buffy's eyes shot to look at the vampire and noticed the first rays of sunlight looming behind him. "Oh, geez!" She grabbed his arm and drug him to the door. Producing a key from her pocket, she shoved it in the lock and swung the door open.

The inside was just as beautiful as the outside.

The pair walked inside, their eyes studying the interior. Sure, it was more of an old fashioned setup, what with the mahogany furniture and gold lamps, but it was cozy. Walking into the living room, they found some deep red furniture, a large fireplace, and an old bookcase full of ancient texts. Buffy walked in, running her fingers over the table in the center of the room. "Why would he want to leave this and stay in Sunnydale?"

"You were there." Spike answered simply, setting their bags on the couch. "Looks like old Rupes had quite a bit of money." He looked around and his face fell, "Yet he couldn't bother to by a bloody TV for the livin' room. Now what the hell an I supposed to do?"

"I'm sure he was planning on having you stay here, really."

----------

Buffy watched from the couch as Spike tossed another book on the table. They had found heaps of weapons piled in three different rooms, along with an extensive library of dusty books in the attic. They had been rummaging through some of the volumes hoping to find some sort of floor plan for the Council's headquarters. Spike knew where it was, they just needed to know how to get around.

An elegant chime went off through the house. The doorbell. Buffy and Spike exchanged glances, hesitant to head to the front door. The bell chimed again and Buffy stood, heading to see who on earth it could be. She opened the door to find a short woman, probably in her early forties, smiling. 

"May I help you?" Buffy asked, rather confused but pretty sure the woman had the wrong house. No one but Faith knew they were here.

"You wouldn't happen to be related to Mr. Rupert Giles, would you?" The woman asked softly.

"You knew Giles?" Buffy questioned, not answering. 

The woman nodded. "My name is Katherine, I've lived next door to Rupert since we were young. And you are?" The woman was obviously relieved that the house hadn't been sold, merely passed on to someone Giles ad obviously cared about.

"Buffy Summers." She answered politely. The woman's face was one of complete shock.

"You're his slayer?" She questioned, looking Buffy over. My word was the girl small. Buffy's face fell. What was the point of keeping the fact that she was the slayer a secret? Everyone already knew, even complete strangers!! Katherine noticed the look on Buffy's face and smiled. "My apologies, Ms.Summers, but you see, I am a watcher. Rupert had told me a lot about you. He was very proud of you." The woman gave Buffy a strange look when she tensed. Wasn't informing her that she was a watcher supposed to relax her?

"You know, this is really a bad time…" Buffy feigned a smile and started to shut the door.

"Ms. Summers?" Katherine put her hand on the door, stopping her from closing it. "Are you alright?" Buffy swallowed, looking into the female watcher's eyes.

"Buffy!! I think I found a way into the Council!!" Spike came running up to the door, pointing to a page of the book he was holding. Buffy shot daggers at him with her eyes and Katherine looked at him, startled.

"You're trying to get into the headquarters?" She asked, looking back at Buffy. 

The slayer smiled sheepishly. "No?"

Spike's brow furrowed. "Who are you?"

Katherine went to speak, but Buffy answered for her. "She's a watcher."

"May I ask why you are trying to get in there?" She asked curtly. Buffy and Spike exchanged glances, but neither spoke. Katherine nodded. "I understand, I'm sure you have your reasons and I wish you luck. It won't be easy to get in there, I assure you. Just take care of yourself, I'm sure Rupert wouldn't want you doing anything foolish. Don't get yourself hurt." She turned to leave and Buffy went to close the door, But Spike held it open. He stepped the closest he could without scorching himself with sunlight and called out to the woman.

"Could you help us?" He asked.

"I beg you pardon?" She replied, turning back to the blonde.

"You said you didn't want her to get hurt. Whether or not you help us is your choice, but we're going either way and I guarantee it will be a lot safer if you help us." 

Katherine looked at him skeptically, scanning him from head to toe. She noticed how the toes of his boots stopped right in front of the line of sunlight. "You're a vampire?" It was more of a statement than a question. Spike nodded and Buffy seemed to slink back, ready for another scolding from a watcher who 'disapproved' of her actions. "Then why are you helping her?" She inquired, nodding to Buffy.

"Because I love her, and I love her sister and I'm **not** about to let the bloody Council keep her locked up." 

"Oh dear, they have your sister? Dawn, is it?" Buffy nodded, slightly worried that the woman had known her sister's name. Had she helped bring her back? "Rupert told me about you two on his last visit, said he was proud of you girls. He wouldn't want anything to happen to either of you." She returned her focus to Spike. "Of course I'll help you."

----------


	15. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

---------

"So you're saying that those Wankers have magick barriers around the entire place?" Spike asked the woman sitting on the couch across from him. Sure, Katherine wasn't entirely **afraid** of Spike, but he was a vampire and she kept her distance.

"Then how do we get in?" Buffy asked, stopping her pacing in front of the fireplace.

"Well, dear, it's not the barriers I would be worried about. They're designed to keep anything with supernatural powers out, but those can be dropped quite simply, if you ask me. I can arrange for them to be down when you arrive. What I'd be worried about are the operatives you'll find inside. These men are **not** what you're used to dealing with, child, they have weapons. Guns."

"How long do they take to respond to a breech?" Spike asked.

"Anywhere between ten and fifteen minutes. No one has been foolish enough to try and overthrow the Council for nearly one hundred years. There are a few operatives inside, yes, but nothing you can't handle. The rest of the team is located in a hidden location across town. They're dismissed only for extreme cases and very few of them have actually been inside the headquarters as they're only released for special operations. They're the one's who were after your friend, Faith." Katherine explained. Buffy was about to protest that Faith **wasn't** her friend, but Katherine continued. "The one's in the Headquarters will have minimal weapons, tranquilizers at most. I will warn you though, once the backups arrive, you are in danger. They will have ammunition, bullets, Ms. Summers."

"Then we won't be there when they arrive, will we?" Buffy stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Precisely." The woman replied, smiling. Spike watched her with a bewildered expression.

"Why are you so willing to help us, anyway?" He asked, standing.

Sighing, Katherine looked up at the blonde. "Because it's what Rupert would have done. You girls were like family to him and I won't sit by while you jeopardize your own life to save your sister's. The Council has no right to tamper with life like that, it's immoral and against everything they stand for."

"You and Rupes, you…" Spike smiled suggestively, making hand motions.

"What? Oh, heavens no! Don't be silly, me and Rupert were childhood friends. The man was like a brother to me." 

Buffy smiled grimly. "So when do we go?"

"I can have the barriers down tonight, if you wish." Katherine replied with a nod.

"Fine, we go tonight. She's not staying there a second longer than she has to."

"Wait a tick, how do you know you can get the barriers down? They're using the Nibblet as bait, they know the Slayer will come for her, so how do you know that they don't have the operatives there ready to ambush her?" Spike questioned, thinking the situation through. Buffy looked up at him, dismay present in her eyes. She had never thought of that.

"Because, Spike, I happen to be in charge of the Council's security." 

He stopped, clenching his jaw. "Then how do we know you're not setting us up?"

"You'll have to trust me and the fact that I would never betray Rupert, even if it means I have to betray everything I've been taught over the years."

"Why didn't you know about Dawn?" Buffy asked quietly. "Shouldn't you have been in charge of containing her? Keeping her locked up?"

"I'm afraid not, dear, that would be left to specially trained operatives under the orders of the Council Elders. I have no say in what they do."

Buffy sighed and nodded her head. "Fine, we leave at midnight." Spike nodded. If she trusted what this woman said then he would stick with her.

"Then my prayers are with you, child. The barriers will be dropped, but the operatives will be called, I assure you. I cannot stop them from coming, my orders will be overruled by the Elders." Buffy nodded, understanding.

----------

"Do you think she has them down yet?" Buffy whispered, glancing at her watch. It was 12:02. She sighed, dropping her arm to her side to pick up the small dagger she had brought. Her and Spike sat crouched across the street from the business building that disguised the Council Headquarters. Spike shrugged, fingering the small gun he had in his pocket. He had found it hidden in the attic and thought it may come in handy, but he dare not tell Buffy he had it. 

"M'not sure, but I guess there's only one way to find out." He looked to the Slayer, who nodded. There was a grim determination in her eyes as they stood, making their way across the street. Katherine had explained that there would be no way to actually **sneak** in, seeing as there was no entrance left unguarded. They were better off to just storm the place, get what they were after and leave. They both felt a ripple of power as they crossed the ground a few feet in front of the door, apparently where the barrier once stood. Spike grabbed her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze before pushing both of the glass doors open and marching into the lobby. Buffy followed close at his heels.

"May I help you?" The small woman behind the counter asked, lowering her glasses to get a better look at the couple who had just entered. Buffy and Spike were both dressed completely in black, aside from Spike's red shirt which was barely visible under his duster. Although both were relatively small, the woman had an odd feeling about them. 

"Yeah, you can." Buffy said harshly, reaching across the counter and grabbing the woman by the collar. "Where's Travors?" She demanded. The few operatives in the lobby were after Buffy in an instant, ready to pull the girl from the secretary. The woman's face filled with fear as she watched Spike easily knock out those that attacked. He moved with inhuman speed and held extreme power, barely trying as he took out his opponents.  But that was immposible, only humans could enter the building, unless…. "Where?!" Buffy snapped, tightening her hold.

"Down the main hall, third door on the right." The woman managed, barely able to breath. "He's in a meeting, you won't be able to get in. I can call…." She was silenced as Buffy threw her to the ground, nailing her head on the hard tile floor. She was out cold. 

"Let's do this." She instructed her vampire companion. He nodded, following her down the hall but walking past the room they were informed Travors was in. Buffy grabbed the handles of the two large wooden doors and tugged. Locked. She took a step back and glanced down the hall. Spike was nowhere in sight. Returning her gaze to the door, she kicked. The splintering of wood echoed through the hall as she walked into the room, scanning the faces of those around a large table. Their eyes were all locked on her.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Ms. Summers?" Travors said, standing from his seat at the head of the table. Buffy glared at him and caught a glimpse of Lily in the seat next to him. She assumed the rest of the table's occupants were either Elders or watchers, but she didn't care. She was here to deal with Travors. Stalking up to him like a predator, Buffy brought herself face to face with the man who dared disturb her sister's rest.

"Where the fuck is she?" She ground out, not taking her eyes off of his. He chuckled.

"I can't do that, you see. As I was informed, the girl isn't even your **real** sister, am I correct?" Buffy silence assured him he was. "Well then, I suppose it's also true that she was created of your blood, of the **Slayer's** blood." 

Buffy's eyes flared. "What d you want with her?"

"With her? Simple. We want you, Ms. Summers, we want you in exchange for her freedom. Well, as close to freedom as we'll grant." He replied calmly, a smug grin on his face.

"What do you mean?" Buffy demanded.

"I mean that she will become the slayer, you will forfeit your duties and she will assume them. She holds your power, Ms. Summers, and we will not let that power go to waste. She's young, impressionable. She'll make a much better Slayer than you ever were, more obedient but with the same power." Something that sounded almost like a growl escaped Buffy's throat and she was on the man, holding him down on the table by his neck.

"You **will** let her go, you understand me? She is **not** a slayer, I am." Buffy's voice was venomous. She caught a glimpse of Lilyl as she picked up her cell phone and punched in a few numbers, but she didn't care. She just wanted to rip Travors' head off. About twenty sets of eyes were locked on the Slayer as she assaulted their leader, but none made a move to do anything. They all knew they stood no chance against the slayer. Travors grinned as another set of doors flew open and two men walked in, dragging a struggling Dawn between them.

"Buffy!" The teen managed, but she was silenced as one of the men jabbed a needle into her neck, injecting her with some type of sedative. Her struggle halted almost instantly and she slumped down, still watching her sister with hooded eyes. With a look of pure fury on her face, Buffy pulled her eyes from her sister and back to Travors.

"Tell them to let her go!!" She shouted, glaring.

"Or what? You'll kill me?" He asked mockingly, knowing the girl wouldn't dare take a human life. She ground her teeth.

"No." She replied flatly. A loud thump sounded on the table above where Travors' head was positioned. His eyes wandered up to be met with the grinning face of a rather cruel looking vampire. Looking to the ceiling, he determined that the vampire must have dropped from the ventilation shaft above, leaving the grate wide open. "But he will." Spike snarled and hauled the man up by his shoulders.

"I don't like people who hurt my family." He growled, throwing the man off the table and into a wall. Startled gasps sounded and some of the occupants even dared to flee the room. Neither Spike nor Buffy cared. Buffy brutally shoved the few watchers who tried to oppose her out of the way, making her way towards Dawn. Spike was back down on Travor, hauling the man to his feet once more. Travors hadn't planned on the vampire making it into the building.

"You'll never make it out alive." Travors warned sternly, glaring at the vampire.

"Already dead, mate." Spike replied coldly before twisting the man's neck. He watched his body slump to the floor, grinning, but his grin faded quickly as he sound of a gunshot ran out through the room. He turned to find Buffy staring wide eyed at Lily, a small hole in the wall just beside her head. The men who were holding Dawn both lay unconscious on the floor. "You did **NOT** just shoot that thing at her." Spike spat as he began to march towards the watcher, but he was stopped as another of the watchers hit him from behind. He snarled, knocking the man from him. When he looked up, Lily had the gun aimed once more, ready to fire. In one swift movement, he had the gun from his pocket and pulled the trigger. Buffy jumped at the sound of the shot, certain that the bullet would hit her. But it didn't. She looked up to see Spike standing behind Lily, a small revolver in his hands. Lily was slumped on the floor, blood pooling around her. The rest of the rooms occupants wasted no time running from the room. Buffy stared at Spike, shocked. 

"Where did you…" She started.

"Not now." He commanded, pocketing the gun and rushing past her to scoop up Dawn's lifeless body. He held the girl against him and signaled for Buffy to hurry as he rushed out of the room. The trio headed the way they had come, but found the end of the hall blocked off by a large wall of purplish ripples. Buffy touched it hesitantly, and a jolt of electricity was sent through her. She pulled her arm back quickly, hugging it against her chest.

"Looks like we find another way out…." She muttered, looking to Spike.  He nodded grimly as she turned and began to hurry further into the watchers Headquarters. He followed, holding on to the teen tightly.

----------


	16. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

---------

"Shit!" Buffy pulled her hand back from a doorknob as another wave of purple magic encased the door, preventing them from leaving. The pair glanced down the hall to find the barriers slowly forming over every door in the hallway. Her eyes grew wide. They were trapped.

"Let's go!!" Spike shouted as he shoved her, forcing her to move further down the hallway, hoping the barriers hadn't made it that far yet. The two broke into a run.

"Spike, this way!" Buffy grabbed the vampire's arm and dragged him through the only unblocked door remaining in the extensive hallway. She slammed it behind her just as the purplish tint surrounded it.

"Slayer…" Spike muttered, glancing down the stairwell they were now in. The barriers were forming on the doors leading to the different floors. "Up, now!!" He commanded as he began to take to the stairs by two or three at a time. Buffy followed, praying that they could get ahead of the magic. She allowed herself a small smile as they passed a door marked 10 that hadn't been closed off yet, but Spike kept going. They bounded up the three remaining stories and threw themselves through the final door just before it was closed off as well. They both glanced around quickly, illuminated under the moonlight. The roof.

"Oh, God, Dawnie." Buffy finally took the time to go up to her sister, who was still wrapped protectively in Spike's arms. She ran her fingers gently over her sister's forehead, wincing when she came to a rather large gash. She felt tears spring to her eyes as she watched the thin trail of blood falling down her sister's features. She must have hit her head when the men had dropped her. Dawn stirred slightly at Buffy's touch.

"She'll be fine." Spike reassured her, adjusting his hold on the waking girl. "Come on, we have to find a way down from here." Buffy nodded and followed him to the edge of the roof, hoping to find a ladder or some other way down. 

It was no use. 

"Spike….what now? What do we do?" Buffy asked, beginning to panic. She **always** knew what to do, where to go. But this time she was lost. Scared. She **had** to save Dawn, but she was beginning to feel she couldn't, that she had lost.

"Calm down, luv, now get over here." Spike instructed, pulling her down into the shadows between two large air conditioner bases. 

"What, why?" She asked. He pointed out into the sky ahead of them.

Shit. The choppers. Four of the large metal flyers were approaching the building and Spike slinked back further into the shadows, pulling Buffy with him. He scanned the roof, desperate to find a way out, down, wherever. Anywhere but here. His eyes caught sight of the door they had come through. The purple barrier was gone and the door rocked back and forth slightly, open. He clasped his hand over Buffy's mouth, quieting her heavy breathing. 

"Shhh…" He uttered gently, his eyes scanning the shadows around them. Over the sound of the approaching helicopters, he could make out a slight heartbeat, other than Buffy and Dawn. Blood. He could smell blood, quite a bit of it too. "There's someone up here…." He told her quietly, releasing his hold. His eyes shot back to the door as the sound of heavy footsteps filled the air. A group of the operatives emerged through the door, the first instructing the others to begin looking for them. They both watched with alert eyes as the men began shining flashlights into the dark crevasses of the roof, coming dangerously close to their hiding place. Spike tapped her arm, nodding up to the helicopter now hovering above the building. Katherine stood in the door, barking some type of commands to the pilot.

The bitch had set them up.

Spike clenched his jaw and tightened his hold on Dawn. He didn't know how, but they **would** get out of this. They had to. His ears picked up a sharp click from behind them and he turned quickly, coming face to face with Lily. She was grinning, he gun aimed at the back of Buffy's head. Panicking, Spike tackled Buffy, sending them both rolling back out into the view of the operatives. Lily's gun fired.

"Bloody hell!!" Spike growled, glaring at the woman as he stood, still clenching Dawn to his chest. 

"There!!" Katherine pointed down at the escaping trio and the choppers searchlights were directed down at them. The group of men on the roof started to rush towards them. Buffy grabbed Spike by the shoulders and pushed him towards one end of the building. Something sticky covered her hand. Looking down, she saw that her hand was covered in blood. Her eyes fell to Spike's back, where he had evidently been hit by the bullet. She swallowed back her tears as they operatives began to surround them. Another shot rang out.

Buffy fell to the ground.

"Buffy!!" Spike watched in horror as the girl fell, a bullet piercing into her stomach. Despite the wound, the girl stammered to her feet, trying her best to go on. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her along with him. He could hear her trying to hold back sobs as the men grew closer. His eyes fell to Lily, who stood nearby, her shirt still bloody from where he had shot her earlier. She had an evil grin on her face as she lowered her gun. Bitch. She was supposed to be dead. But she wasn't…and she may have well just killed Buffy.

"Spike…" Buffy's voice was soft as she clutched onto his coat, trying to stay on her feet. They stood on the very edge of the building. Another step backwards and they would fall to the street below. He looked down at her and his heart broke. A steady stream of blood was flowing from the corner of her mouth and she was clutching her stomach. It was no use, the wound continued to bleed profusely. He could feel the tears slip from his eyes. He couldn't lose her again, it would kill him….

"Buffy, Buffy. Come on pet, it'll all be okay. I promise." He choked, more so trying to keep himself from breaking down. But it wouldn't be alright. Here Buffy was, bleeding to death in front of him and they were surrounded by at least twenty men, not to mention the four choppers hovering above them. He could see the life slipping from her eyes under the beams of light from the choppers. Her lip trembled and she ran her hand down the side of his face. "Buffy…"

"Shhh…" She said gently, placing her finger against his lips. Placing her hand behind his head, she pulled him down to her lips, kissing him gently. He could taste her blood in his mouth and a silent sob wracked his body. She pulled away, sniffling. "I love you." She said softly. She looked down at Dawn, who was still cradled in his arms. Running her fingers over her hair, she looked up at the vampire. "Don't let her go…" With that she grabbed him by his coat and flung him from the roof. She broke into sobs as they fell, landing with a large crash in an open dumpster below. They were still a few seconds, but Spike began to stir.

"Oh God…" He muttered, trying to stand. He had landed on his back and Dawn was sprawled on top of him, seeming unhurt by the fall. He stood frantically, not letting her out of his grasp. "Buffy!!" He shouted up at the figure on the edge of the roof. Her blonde hair flew every which way in the wind and she still clutched her stomach. "Buffy!!" She finally brought herself to look down at him. This was it, it was all over. He cold run, get Dawn out of here. Her breath became shallow as she turned back to the approaching men. Summoning the last of her strength, she swung at them as they came, refusing to go down with out a fight.  Pushing her way through them, she glared at Lily. The slayer brought the gun she had pulled form Spike's pocket up to the watcher's face. Lily's eyes grew wide as she pulled the trigger of her own gun.

 A sharp click, nothing more. 

She was out of ammunition. Buffy smiled coldly and Lily's face flooded with fear. "Fuck. You." Her words came out harsh as she pulled the trigger, sending Lily's body flying back through the air. Someone's arms looped around her, taking her to the ground. She tried her best to kick the operatives off of her, but it was no use. Despite her efforts, she stood no chance. Everything went black….

Spike bolted down a dark alley, tears streaming down his face. She was gone, his slayer was gone…. He turned the corner, giving the chopper behind him a quick glance. He had to loose it, he had to get Dawn out of there…  He turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks. Katherine stood there, one of the choppers resting in the street behind her.

"Bitch…" Spike growled as he backed away, tightening his hold on the girl. This was her fault. She killed Buffy.

"Don't run." Katherine instructed, motioning for him to look behind him. He turned, finding forty or so men standing at ready. He snarled, returning his venomous glare to the woman. He lunged, but the men tackled him to the ground. He managed to knock a few away, but between trying to keep Dawn from them and the raging wound in his back he didn't have a chance. His blue eyes grew wide as one of the men brought the blunt end of a gun down on his head, knocking him out cold.

He had failed her…… 

----------


	17. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

---------

Spike curled himself up tighter, tears spilling through his clenched eyes. There was a dull pain running through his head, but it was nothing compared to the hole he felt in his chest. Buffy was gone. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt this much pain, felt this much remorse. Sure, it had torn him apart when she had died last summer, but she had done that of her own free will. She had saved the world, but not this time. This time she had died to save Dawn, to save **him**. He didn't deserve that. She should have taken Dawn and run, she should still be alive, not him. Her life wasn't worth his.

"Spike?" 

Spike's eyes opened slowly. It was them, the bloody wankers who had put him here, who had taken Dawn away, the bastards who had killed his Buffy. The voice rung through the room from a speaker in the ceiling, bouncing off the plain white walls. Katherine's voice. Spike clenched his jaw and shut his eyes once more. He didn't want to hear her, he didn't want to hear anything. What he **wanted** was Buffy, but he couldn't have that now, could he? He could feel fresh tears begin to pour down his face and he wrapped his duster more tightly around himself.

"Spike. We need to talk." The voice said flatly. He opened his saddened blues eyes and scanned the room. Same as it had been before. Plain and white, all except for the large mirror on the wall opposite of him and the bit of blood on the floor. He was positive he was being watched through the glass, but he didn't care. He had tried for hours to get out of the room, but it was no use, he was locked in.

His gaze dropped to his hands. Blood. His knuckles were torn apart from where he had been pounding on the walls, the door, the glass, everything, trying to find a way out. Sitting up slowly, he dropped his feet to the floor and continued to stare at his bloody palms. There had been so much blood, he didn't think a slayer could bleed that much. She had looked so scared, so afraid. Bloody Hell, the last thing that must have registered in the girl's mind was the searing pain coursing through her body. The last thing she remembered was pain.

"Spike."

His eyes flared and he brought them up to focus on the glass. Katherine and her other watcher friends were behind there, watching him. They had hurt her, they had killed her and taken his only tie to her away. They took his slayer and his Bit. They destroyed the very thing they created. The slayer. Snarling, he lunged from the bed and began his merciless assault on the mirror once more, shouting string after string of curses that would have made the Devil himself flinch. He pounded his fist against the glass, accomplishing nothing more than making his hands bleed more. He continued on like this for what seemed like hours. He choked in the middle of one of his curses, starting to cry once more. He smacked his palms against the glass, leaving bloodied handprints on the surface. Sliding to the ground, he brought his knees up to his chest. He couldn't take this anymore, it was all too much. The pain wouldn't stop. 

Katherine stood behind the window, her arms crossed over her chest. She had never seen such a display of emotion, especially not from a vampire. She watched with interest as he ran his fingers through his hair, leaving trails of crimson red in the nearly white locks. The red-on-white contrast brought her attention beack to the room he was being held in. Like all their containment chambers, it was white, but now there was blood scattered about. The walls, the floor, the bed. She traced the outline of his palm on the glass in front of her before readjusting the headset she wore. Pulling the microphone closer to her mouth, she decided she need to end this now before it got out of hand.

"Spike, we're sending someone in there, alright?" The vampire remained huddled in the center of the room, unmoving. Katherine nodded to the man next to her.

Spike heard the door rattle and click as it opened and closed. The sound of a quick human heartbeat filled his ears. Whoever had entered the room remained near the door, not approaching him. They could wait all they wanted for all he cared, the second they were within his reach he'd tear their head from their shoulders anyway.

"Spike?"

The vampire's eyes shot open and he sat there, staring at the floor. It couldn't be. His head snapped towards the door. Dawn stood there, staring at him with wide eyes. She had watched him pounding on the window from the other side, watched him hurt himself. The room they were in scared her. Everywhere she looked she saw the crimson red blobs, streaks. It wasn't as though he had bled a lot, but the way he was hitting things had left the red liquid smeared on the walls, the floor, everywhere. She stood the, not moving as the vampire shot from the floor and rushed towards her, enveloping her in his arms. She could hear his muffled crying as he hugged her and she reluctantly circled her arms around his neck. His knees gave out and they fell to the floor, unphased. Refusing to let go of the girl, he sat with her in his lap. Dawn trembled. He wasn't supposed to be like this, **he** was the strong one.  

"I'm so sorry Dawn…." He muttered. Sorry for her loss, but more so for failing her, for letting her sister die.

"Spike, please, don't cry." Dawn said softly, cringing. She didn't like him like this at all. It was scary. He began to shake his head. It **was** his fault. He had killed her. "Spike, don't."

"I'm so sorry…."

"Spike, look at me." Dawn ordered, pulling away from his grasp. She fought to keep from crying herself when she saw the devastated look on his face. He seemed so miserable, so hurt. "It's not your fault," He began to shake his head again, but she caught his face between her palms, forcing him to look at her. Her face was grim, yet full of determination. "She's alive, Spike, she's alive….."

---------- 

White.

That was all that registered in her mind. White. Everything around her was white. Was she in Heaven? No, even Heaven hadn't been this white. She went to sit up, but doubled over in pain. 

Nope, definitely not Heaven.

She clutched her stomach, absently running her fingers over the bandage she could feel through her clothes. Her very plain, very white clothes. A hospital? No, there were no machines, no curtains, nothing, just her bed. Her green eyes flitted around and she curled further into a ball on the mattress, trying to avoid the pain shooting through her. Deciding that it wasn't going to go away, she sat up slowly, keeping her back to the wall as she glanced around.

Something moved behind her.

She turned quickly, startled, but relaxed when she saw who it was. Spike was curled up against the wall, asleep. She turned and stared down at him, running her finger over the small hole in the back of his duster. Her hand slid up to his shoulder and he stirred once more, this time waking. He rolled over to find the girl looking down at him, tears flooding her eyes. He sat up, smiling at her. She was alive.

"Buffy…" He cooed, brushing her hair from her face. He took her small hand in his, entwining their fingers together.

"Where are we? Where's Dawn? Spike, what happened, I…" She began to question, tears spilling from her eyes.

"Buffy, shhhh. It's alright pet, I promise. Everything's fine." He said as she fell into his arms, crying. "Calm down luv, Nibblet's okay." After a few moments, he pulled away, looking into her eyes. "You're okay…"

She shook her head. This was wrong. She was supposed to be dead and he was supposed to be gone, keeping Dawn safe. "No. Where are we?" She begged, shaking her head.

"The Council." He said quietly, squeezing her shoulders reassuringly. She tensed.

"No." She shook her head frantically and stood from the bed, wincing as another wave of pain shot through her. Spike was by her side almost instantaneously, holding her up. "No! We have to get out of here. We have to find Dawn!" she shouted, trying to pull from his grasp. She only proceeded to throw herself into a coughing fit which only amplified the pain in her stomach. 

"Buffy. Buffy!" He spun her around to face him and held her firmly by her shoulders. "Listen to me!" She cringed as he shouted and he sighed, his voice softening. "Just calm down, pet, please. You're going to hurt yourself." She relaxed a bit, nodding slightly. "Good girl." He said gently, ushering her back to the bed to sit down. She sat obediently, her eyes falling to the floor.

"They caught you…" She said absently, bringing her eyes to meet his.

He smiled. "Yup, brought me and the Bit back here. I woke up, that bloody bullet gone from my back. Katherine sent Dawn in, had the girl talk some sense into me. I had a chat with her after that." He watched Buffy's face harden at the mention of the woman's name. "Buffy, pet, she wasn't there to hurt us. She dispatched the choppers and the men with the order to get us out of there."

"But she said Travors…"

"Travors was in no condition to be given orders, luv. I killed him, remember?" She nodded. "Well, with him out of the picture she had full say in the operatives' dispatch. She sent them to recover us, get us out of the building. Those men weren't trying to kill us."

"Lily. She shot me…" Buffy looked up at him, confused.

"She wasn't with them, pet. She did that on her own, dropped the barriers that were put in place to keep her and the elders safe inside the building and followed us to the roof."

"I killed her…" the slayer mumbled, her gaze falling back to the floor.

"Yeah, and I've got to say, you made a bloody right mess doin' it." She smiled slightly as wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him. "She had it coming, luv. You…you almost died. You've been out cold for almost a week now. You were startin' to scare me…"

"Sorry."

He couldn't help but chuckle as he wrapped his arms around her. "It doesn't matter anymore, you're okay now." 

"Where's Dawn?" She asked into his chest.

"A asleep a few rooms over. We can go see her if you want, she's been waiting for you to wake up." Buffy didn't move. She didn't want to wake her up. Swallowing hard, she looked back down at where Spike had taken her hand back in his. She traced a shakey finger over the faint red marks on his knuckles. 

"What happened?" She asked softly, her mind drifting back to when she had dug her way out of her own grave. 

The blonde vampire smirked. "I got mad, now come on. I'm sure Nibblet won't mind you wakin' her skinny arse." Buffy sighed and nodded weakly. Standing, she wrapped her arms around her stomach and began to shuffle towards the door. She was suddenly very glad vampires had never thought to use guns before. She was halfway out the when she felt Spike wrap his arm around her waist, supporting some of her weight on himself. She managed a small smile. 

The pair shuffled through the hallway and stopped at another door. It was cracked open slightly and Spike pushed it fully open with the toe of his boot. Buffy stared wide eyed at her sister, who was sleeping on a small bed. She was glad to see the girl was in something other than the bloodied white jumpsuit she had last seen her in. Instead she was in one of Spike's black t-shirts and a pair of pink plaid pajama pants. Spike must have gone back to Giles' place to get their bags. She sat on the edge of the bed and ran her fingers over the girl's hair. Spike took a few steps back and watched from the doorway. Dawn stirred and turned to look up at her sister. Buffy smiled through her tears. "Hey Dawnie…."

"Buffy…" Dawn could feel tears forming in her own eyes as she wrapped her arms around her sister's neck, hugging her tightly. Buffy ignored the pain in her stomach and hugged the teen back. Spike smiled at the two girls. **His** two girls. Closing the door quietly, he began to saunter back up the hallway.

"Spike?"

Spike turned to find Katherine smiling at him. "Oh, it's you."

"She's awake?" Katherine asked, nodding to Buffy's door.

"Yeah, she's in with Dawn now."

Katherine nodded, smiling. "I'm sure they'll make it through this, they're strong. But, speaking of Dawn, I would like to have a word with you."

"Bout what?" He asked, becoming skeptical of the woman. He had more or less become friends with her over the past week, but something about this conversation was making him uneasy.

She shook her head, still smiling. "Don't worry, chap, it's nothing bad, I assure you."

"What is it then?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Katherine looked at Dawn's door.

"Perhaps we should go to my office, hm?" Spike nodded reluctantly, following the woman down the hallway. She led him into a rather large office. It had been Travors', from what she had told him. She had taken up his duties since his death and had dismissed most of the former Elders. A lot had put up protest, but they had agreed to their dismissal when she reminded them that she had hundreds of trained operatives under her control that could escort them from the building if need be. Spike had a feeling that the Council was about to change completely, almost certainly for the better.

"So, what is it?" Spike asked, shoving his hands in his pockets and watching as she sat down behind the desk.

"Well, I wanted to talk to you about Dawn." She looked up to see him staring at her expectantly. "Travors was right about her, you know, she has the blood of a slayer in her. In essence, that means she holds the same power as Buffy. The ability to fight evil."

"She's not a slayer.." Spike began to protest, shaking his head, but Katherine held up her hand.

"I know that, and I'm not saying that I fully back the idea that she should become one. But Spike, the girl knew of what Travors' had planned on having her do, she knew what she was capable of. I have talked to her and she says she wants to go back to Sunnydale and help you and Buffy."

Spike swallowed. "I know." He had had a very similar conversation with the girl, trying to convince her that it wasn't her job and that he and Buffy could handle it. He had even said that Faith was there to help them now, but there was no changing her mind, she wanted to help her sister. Dawn **wanted** to be a slayer.

"You don't want her to do this?" Katherine asked.

Spike shook his head. "She's just a little girl."

"As was Buffy when she became the slayer." Katherine pointed out.

"I can't have them both in danger like that, I can't let anything happen." He said firmly, shaking his head. They had been too close to death this time and he didn't intend on letting them that near danger again. 

"But wouldn't it make sense to have the girl trained? Even if not to slay, at least she'd stand a better chance of protecting herself."

"She's **not** a slayer." Spike ground out slowly, not in the mood to argue.

"Yes, Spike, she **is**. Maybe not by birth rite, but she **is** a slayer. She was created from Buffy and therefore has the gift to fight off evil." Katherine protested, standing.

"Some gift…" Spike scoffed, scowling down at the floor. Katherine sighed and approached the vampire. She had taken a certain fondness to the boy, a sort of maternal bond even though the vampire was decades older than herself. She had never known another creature to show such emotion. He was truly a unique soul. A soul, now there was something he lacked, a good ole' human soul. But that didn't stop him from loving, from caring. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

"You want only to protect them and I understand that. Think about it, talk to them. This isn't your decision to make, but you'll be a deciding factor. The girl respects you, both of them do…" She offered him a smile and patted him on the back before exiting the room. He stood there a few moments, staring down the empty hallway. With a defeated sigh, he swallowed and walked towards Dawn's door. He wrapped his hands around the cool metal knob, but didn't turn it. Instead, he pressed his ear against the door, listening to the muffled giggles from the girls inside. He smirked and pulled away, letting his hand drop from the knob. Giving the door a quick glance, he turned and headed back down the hallway.

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A/N: Prolly only one chap left. Please review!!


	18. 

Title: Standing On Your Own

Author: Hope

Rating: PG-13

Summary: When a demon kills everyone the slayer loves, she falls deep into depression: No will to live, no will to fight. Because her heart is no longer in slaying, the PTB send back a certain blonde vampire to help get her back on track.....

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"I wish we could stay here…" Dawn wrapped her arms around her legs, shivering against the cool night air. Rocking back slightly, she stared up at the stars above them. She didn't think she had ever seen the sky so clear. Sighing, she leaned back onto her elbows, the rough shingles of the house's roof scratching against her skin. Her and Spike had climbed up here from the balcony, not because they wanted to be alone, but because they were both bored out of their minds. It had been almost two weeks since either of them had seen a wink of television and Giles' house didn't have much of anything to keep them occupied.

"You know we can't do that." Spike muttered as he pulled a cigarette from his pocket. "Your sis has a job to do back home." He heard Dawn sigh audibly and looked down at her.

"But that's **all** that's there. Buffy's job. Everything else is gone…. Plus Faith's there now, the Hellmouth doesn't need two slayers." She said glumly, not looking at him. "If we stay here we can do whatever we want. No one knows us, we could start fresh, be a family…" She finally turned to face him as she spoke the last part, her eyes full of longing, pain. "No one would tell us it was wrong, no one would try to take it away."

"We can be a family back in Sunnyhell, too." He said knowingly, ruffling her hair fondly. She pulled away.

Not the reaction he had been expecting.

"There's too many memories there. I don't want to remember, it hurts…." She said sharply, turning her gaze to the shingles. "I want to forget."

"But if we don't remember them, who will?" Spike asked softly, exhaling a trail of smoke from his mouth.

"They have family. Their parents, their friends." She replied stubbornly.

"Yes, the Whelp's parents will remember the bumbling kid who lived in their basement and Red's parents will remember their shy, book smart daughter. Katherine will remember Giles as the childhood friend who grew up and left her alone on London and D'Hoffryn will remember Anya as his best vengence demon gone soft. Tara's family will remember her as…."

"What are you talking about, Spike?!" Dawn demanded, turning to him with angry, tearful eyes. How could he be talking so openly about her dead friends?

"Their families didn't know them, Nibblet. They didn't know Xander as the comic relief in a dire situation, Willow as a powerful witch capable of powers we could only imagine, Anya as the compassionate girl with a really strange fear of bunnies, Tara as the kind soul who always knew how to make someone feel better, Giles as the Watcher who raised and loved the best slayer the world has known….."

"Mom as the woman who loved me even though I wasn't really her daughter…" Dawn added tearfully, understanding. No one had known who they really were, that they were the silent force that made sure there was a sun to wake up to in the morning, the people that stopped the monster under the bed from eating your feet when you got up. No one knew they had saved the world. "But it hurts so much…." She mumbled, tears sliding down her face.

"I know, Bit.." Spike replied softly, flicking the remainder of his cigarette over the edge of the roof. "It's hard, it's painful, but it goes away. No, I take that back, it'll never go away, it'll always be inside you and it'll always hurt like a bitch." She turned to face him, her eyes wide in shock. He was supposed to be making her feel better, not telling her she'd always be in pain. "**But," **he said, looking down at her and raising an eyebrow. "it won't hurt as much as if you let yourself forget them. You'll regret it. Everything you do, everything you see, just reminders of them. It'll haunt you, eat you from the inside." He looked down at his hands where his fingers were entwined together. "I know. When your sis died, I **wanted** forget her. I thought maybe it wouldn't hurt as much as knowing she wasn't there."

"But you were with me all the time, I reminded you of her…" Dawn chimed grimly. He nodded.

"I dreamt of her every night. Something inside of me wouldn't let me forget. I needed that small piece of her to get me through the day, to keep me from up and leaving Sunnyhell for good. To keep me from leaving you…"

"I'm sorry…" Dawn muttered, feeling guilty. She made him remember, she caused him the pain he felt.

"Don't be. Just being me would have reminded me of her and it would have hurt more knowing I tried to forget that." He swallowed to lump in his throat and looked up at the pale moon. " When you lot died, Buffy tried to forget you. She stayed out of your room, out of Willow's room, away from the shop, away from everything Giles left her…"

"But she went to your crypt." Dawn said flatly, looking up at him almost angrily. Why had her sister wanted to forget her but not Spike?

He smirked and shook his head. "She thought she had to protect you, that it was her job to keep you safe. She thought she had failed you, she thought you didn't know she cared. She wanted to forget that, the pain from when you were alive and after you died. But me, I was her way of forgetting. She came to me whenever you guys fought, when she had a bad day. I guess maybe she thought that whatever remained of me could dull the pain some too, but my guess is it only made her realize what she was trying to forget."

They both sat silent for a few moments, thinking about what he had just said. Dawn's tears slowly came to a halt, only to be replaced by small sniffles.

"Spike?" She asked quietly, looking up at him.

"Yeah Pet?"

Sniffling once more, she sat up and reached her hand into one of the inside pockets of her coat. She pulled out a small leather bound book and handed it to the vampire. "Here, I want you to keep it."

"Your journal?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

She nodded. "Yeah, there's only a few pages left in it now, but it has everything from the few months before I, well, died." She shrugged. "I haven't written in it since I got back, I never liked jumping between dates with those things. And four months is a **big** jump. There's a lot of stuff about the scoobies in there, what they said, how they acted. I have more at home too, I guess. I want you to keep them."

"Why?"

She turned to look at him, sadness evident on her face. "Those words tell who they really were, they tell about the people only we got the priveledge to know. You'll….you'll liver longer than me or Buffy. I want you to make sure they stay intact, that people know who they were. I don't want them to be gone when we die."

"Dawn, I…"

"Please, Spike, please. You said I can't forget and I won't. But what about when I'm gone? When Buffy's gone? Who's going to be here to remember?"

Sighing, he nodded. "Alright, Bit, I promise. But you have to do something for me first." She raised her eyebrows in question. "Finish it. Tell the ending to their story." He stated simply, handing the book back to her. She searched his eyes for a few minutes before nodding and taking it back, a sad smile on her face.

"Thank you."

"No problem, pet. Now come on, let's get back inside 'fore you get sick."

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Pulling the key from the door, Buffy pushed it closed with her foot and headed towards the living room.

She had been talking with Katherine and the Council's new board of directors about how she felt the Council could be improved and **boy** did she have a lot of suggestions, one being that they not be stuck up dickwads who thought they knew what was in the best interest of a slayer. She had her special 'slayer instincts' and she intended to follow them, Council approval or not.

She had also had to make arrangements for their flight home. Katherine had offered to have them flown home tomorrow night, but Buffy had declined, knowing Dawn could do with some quality family time **away** from home. Tomorrow night would be devoted soley to spending time with the girl.

And Spike.

Hanging her coat over a chair, she walked into the living room, noting the eary glow the remaining embers from the fireplace cast over the room. Despite the gloominess, she couldn't help but smile. Dawn was curled up on the couch, her head resting lightly on Spike's shoulder as they both slept. Buffy glanced around the room and grabbed a discarded blanket from a nearby armchair. She threw it lightly over the sleeping pair and smiled fondly. Leaning down, she placed a small kiss on Dawn's forehead, still almost unbelieving that the girl was alive. Her eyes then floated to Spike, who despite the fact that he could pass for a corpse, looked completely at peace when he slept. Trailing her fingers gently down the side of the vampire's face, she turned to leave. She felt his cool hand wrap around hers before she could pull it away. She turned to find him grinning at her.

"Where's mine?" He asked, pulling her down into his lap.

"Your what?" She replied, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Oh come off it, the Nibblet gets a kiss and I don't?"

"Spike, I…" She halted for a moment, thinking. Dawn was the only one here and she wasn't going to protest about her kissing him, and there was no one else to complain. But right now, she could care less. She didn't care who knew anymore, he deserved at least that after all he had done for her. He deserved her honesty. She smiled slightly as she leaned up and placed a gentle kiss on his cold lips. He looked shocked as she pulled away. "What's wrong?" She asked softly.

"Well, for one, I wasn't really 'spectin to get a kiss, and two…." She silenced him with another kiss.

"I don't care anymore, Spike." She said firmly before laying her head against his chest. "I don't…."

He smiled lightly, brushing his hand through her hair. "I love you, Buffy."

She smiled into his chest and snuggled closer to him, closing her eyes sleepily. "Love you too…."

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I lied, one more chapter, please review!!


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